Get In My Swamp

by G.M. Fairy

He’s rich, obviously, and most importantly. He’s the heir of the mighty Dual-Lock home security empire, and it’s surprisingly a very profitable industry.

Lmfao

but behind their backs will tear them apart like he’s Chef Gordon Ramsay and everyone is just an idiot sandwich.

"WHAT ARE YOU???"

The size of his little friend, though, let’s just say the rumors aren’t true about the correlation from hand to dick size. He has big hands.

Shrek was right: he WAS compensating

Operation Pussy-Trap, commence.

I know she’s trying to escape, but what if I played along?

Lawrence has a God damn bidet. I can’t say I actually miss him right now, but I sure as hell miss his toilet.

Okay I want that too

“No. The pajamas I showed up in are shredded.” Gilda gives me a knowing look. “I wonder how that happened.”

LMAO