Unbottled Potential: Break Up with Alcohol and Break Through to Your Best Life

by Amanda Kuda

Alcohol became an option that merely existed.

My new realization about drinking was this: alcohol is our socially acceptable solution—a cure-all for ailments large and small. We consume alcohol with the hope of subtly shifting our disposition or elevating and exaggerating an existing personality trait. Yet the persona we create with alcohol is false. The more I looked closely at my relationship with drinking, the more I realized alcohol was the root of a system of other behaviors, habits, and beliefs I was using to keep myself small.

I was not powerless over alcohol. I could quit drinking; I just couldn’t see a clear vision of what my life would look like without alcohol in a world that seemed to revolve around booze.

If I didn’t fit in with the traditionally sober folks or with the drinkers, where did I belong?

You don’t need to have a problem with alcohol for it to be a problem in your life.

You can quit because alcohol is no longer serving you. You can quit because you don’t like the way drinking makes you feel or behave. You can quit because, like me, you sense that alcohol is holding you back from being the best, most authentic, successful version of yourself.

I’d become so accustomed to the ways alcohol flowed seamlessly into my life that I knew removing it would leave a temporary void.

I was hell-bent on making moderation work because the thought of complete abstinence scared the shit out of me.

alcohol is not intended to be moderated. You’re dealing with a dependency-causing substance here—a substance that is particularly formulated to loosen up your inhibitions.

Would you take the advice of someone who told you any other drug—say, methamphetamine or even cigarettes—was okay if you were sure to consume it only in moderation?

Step 2: Ditch the f-word.

This is not about punishing or depriving yourself but about opening the space to pursue new opportunities. If you want to start living differently, you must start believing and doing differently.

For most of us, it is our delusional fantasy about alcohol that makes it so difficult to quit, not our inability to do so.

Then it hit me: maybe it wasn’t about how much I could add to my life but what I could subtract. I had officially reached capacity, and it was time to start purging. Reluctantly, I looked again at the only real vice I had: drinking.

However, it’s unlikely that you are aware of the subtle fog that resides for days after you drink. This residual effect can cause you to move more slowly, think slightly more negatively, and lack the motivation to get things done at your full capacity.

Drinking is like a life jacket for your emotions; it keeps you floating on the surface of your emotional experiences under the illusion that you know how to swim. But when you float on the surface, you miss the exhilarating opportunity to experience the true depths of life.

Is this all there is? Or, Would my life be better without alcohol? These are not questions that are pondered by someone who is at the peak of their potential. These are questions pondered by someone like you, who has so much more to give and knows, intuitively, that alcohol is keeping you stuck.

It’s ironic that we all tend to psych ourselves out over the fun we’ll miss if we’re the only ones not drinking. In reality, the only thing we’re missing out on is being drunk.

In that moment, I made a commitment to myself: just because I was sober didn’t mean I had to be boring.

Taking a break from alcohol is not the equivalent of taking a break from fun. Life is fun. You are fun and able to have fun without the support of alcohol to loosen you up.

You see, we tend to avoid boredom by overfilling our social calendars, drinking, scrolling, and bingeing TV. Although there is nothing wrong with checking out from time to time, we live in a world where many of us have little tolerance for boredom because it is in boredom that we are confronted with sitting with our emotions.

When we don’t know how to deal with emotions, our quickest fix is to dilute them with alcohol.

If this was your path, please be gentle with yourself and know that you were doing your best to cope with insurmountable circumstances in your life.

Drinking to avoid lower-vibe emotions is like cleaning your room by shoving filthy clothes and dirty dishes under the bed. Hiding the mess doesn’t make it go away. Rather, it causes the mess to build and build until it either spills over or starts to stink so badly it draws attention to itself.

When you feel an intense, lower-vibe emotion coming on, send yourself to your bedroom and let it out. Lie on your bed and flail and scream. Beat a pillow. Cry. Shake your limbs and allow the energy to move through your body. The physical expression of these emotions can be tremendously healing.

While having outlets where you can safely “check out” is important, be sure you’re frequently “checking in” to create ample space to feel and process your emotions.

The hard part is going against groupthink, the herd mentality of our alcohol-saturated culture. After all, alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify not taking. Annie Grace, This Naked Mind

I don’t even like to refer to these occurrences as slipups, mistakes, or relapses. These are minor stumbling blocks, or as I prefer to call them: learning opportunities.

you are not a failure or bad person for stumbling along the way; you are human.

If you’re tempted to reward yourself with a drink along the way, remember this: no true reward comes with a punishment. In my humble opinion, a hangover coupled with self-loathing is a punishment of the worst kind.

Deep down, many of us crave success, but we don’t believe we are deserving of it. So instead of expanding into the feeling of success when it comes along (because it will), we shut down and contract, unable to hold space for our own magnificence. We drink to reinforce the tiny negative voice inside that causes us to question ourselves and our worthiness.

Be aware of the temptation to overdo it. Remember that you are still in a tender rebuilding period where your body is recalibrating and you are learning to embrace new emotions and experiences.

I remind them that there are only five basic requirements for each day: hydration, movement, sunshine (or outdoor time, even if it’s overcast), nutrition, and rest. These basic components are the foundation for keeping your nervous system regulated. Even after years of practice, I find that on days when I feel dysregulated or anxious, I have inevitably slacked on one of these five basics.

The days that feel gray and heavy will only become heavier if you attempt to numb and check out. Drinking is like pouring gasoline on anxiety or any other heavy emotion. You are no good to yourself or others if you choose to light yourself on fire.

It is in times like this that the world most needs you awake. Please, if you can, resist the urge to check out and shut down. You are more powerful when fueled by emotion than when you are numb. We need you at full capacity; that is where your power lies. If you feel you must numb, I understand and would never shame you for that choice. Yet I encourage you to consider other options, if you can. I honor you and any emotions that you are feeling right now. I honor your bravery to feel and be with them; I know it is not easy. Keep going.