Travis

by Mia Sheridan

A full house of eclectic misfits. And I was now one of them.

Weren’t all of us a compilation of the versions of ourselves we’d once been? Maybe if we were lucky—and insightful—we learned how to extract the good and leave the bad behind, the parts that hadn’t worked for us and instead brought nothing but pain.

“Blueberry,” almost shyly, followed by a short self-deprecating laugh, “so when I look at him, whenever that may be, wherever that may be, I will always remember today, spent in Pelion, Maine, with Chief Hale and our motley crew of misfits.”

The

“Maybe the terrible truth about love is that when it’s gone, it leaves a hole in your heart so big it feels like nothing will ever fill it. The idea of risking again feels fatal. A human being can’t possibly lose that much of themselves and still survive. And so you try desperately to fill it with things that never quite do the job. Things that sometimes hurt other people,”

“All the things that have brought us pain carve a distinct hole in our heart, and there’s someone else out there with the perfect something that will fill the void. And in turn, we get to do the same for them. And suddenly, it all makes sense. It all fits. Because we haven’t been forsaken. We’ve been prepared.”

What I did know—suddenly and unmistakably—was that she was capable of shattering my heart. And if she was going to, all I could do was let her.

At the time, I didn’t completely trust myself. I knew how I felt, but I questioned whether I had anything to offer her. He paused, his eyes returning to me. But she made me want to become the man she deserved. She made me braver and stronger. Because of her, I wanted to be the best version of myself. And that, I think, is what love does, if it’s really love.

Before I could overthink it or talk myself out of it, I leaned back in my chair and grabbed the file containing the original copy of the amendment to the town bylaws that might have resulted in Archer and me facing each other down in a courtroom. I dropped it on the fire and watched as it curled and blackened and, moments later, turned to nothing but ash. Gone forever. Lost.

Averie tilted her head back, staring once again into my eyes, gathering the fabric of my uniform shirt in her small fist, claiming me as one of hers. Finally.

“You didn’t mean to involve your heart, I know. But you did. We both did. And one of us has to be brave and say it. One of us has to be the first to lay their heart on the line,”

“I know something about keeping people at arm’s length, by only letting those in who pose no risk to your heart. I understand the need. I’ve done it all my life. But I’m telling you now that I don’t want to do that anymore. Give us a chance, Haven.”

“I want you to be happy,” he said. “I want you to have the perfect life, everything you want.” He looked down. “Even if that’s not me.” The wince was slight. He almost hid it.

“I am so sorry,” he said. “So, so sorry. You are wanted. You are so wanted by me.”

“Oh, I’ll date you, Haven from California. I’m going to date the hell out of you. No one will have been dated harder in the history—”

I had lost it all. Willingly. Joyfully. While following my heart. And because I’d lost it all, I’d gained…everything.