My Favorite Half-Night Stand

by Christina Lauren

No man wants to hear “I wrote my thesis on gender differences in serial murderers” during the Tell me about yourself portion of an initial rendezvous.

Academia is hard as hell, and it helps to have a community of people who get the schedule, understand the pressures.

My God, we are too young to be this old.”

“You are the frattiest woman I have ever met,” he says. “It’s Manchego. I defy you to find a frat house with Manchego.”

I am not being the organized, well-spoken woman to your male chaos.

Aside from a looming research project, never-ending lectures, and countless stats and procedures to memorize, the students themselves can be their own worst enemy.

Like most faculty members these days, I’m in constant competition with cell phones and laptops and all forms of social media for the attention of my class.

The goal is to graduate, so turn off your damn Instagram.

I thought about getting a cat today. That’s a solid step into the commitment zone.”

Obama would want us to have sex lives,

“They are grown-ass men,” Rayme says. “If they can’t handle a skirt, they shouldn’t be out in public.”

Ugh. Dating sites are like the second circle of hell for women.”