How Not to Date a Dragon (Cautionary Tails, #2)

by Lana Kole

Milo muttered, distracted by the way Xander tightened their thigh harness. Life was so unfair.

“If you get me lost in here, I swear—” Milo hummed. “What, you’ll stab me and then drag around my dead body and hope the witches find you instead?” They glared at him. “Not every hit is a kill hit. I could maim you.” “Maim, huh? What would you do, take off a pinky?” “I think I’d start with your fucking hand so I can finally get these damned cuffs off!” Milo turned away and headed into the forest before they could see his smile twitch. Something told him Xander wouldn’t take well to being riled up on purpose. But, oh, was it fun.

She got the cuffs off, didn’t she!” Xander grit their teeth in his direction. Ohhh, they could throttle this dragon. “At what cost? We’re still bound together! It makes no difference!” “Aw, come on,” Milo lifted a hand to his chest. “I’m not so bad, am I? So eager to get away?”

How did he do that? Inject his smile into every word he spoke, in spite of Xander being a dick. Even as infuriating as it was, their chest ached with fondness. Which was stupid. It hadn’t even been seventy-two hours, and this dragon had disarmed Xander with nothing but his stupid smile and his trinkets and his… just him.

“I would rather not fly. Like, what if I fell off?” they asked. It wasn’t like Dragon Riding was in the other category of their resume. However, Milo looked downright affronted at their words. “As if I’d let you fall off. Come on, let me fly!” Xander suddenly understood why orcs often referred to dragons as puppies. Milo was the fucking epitome of the word, practically bouncing on his toes.

The dragon sat there, like out of every fantasy novel. His brown eyes were still Milo, even his mannerisms. He settled down to the ground like a puppy about to play, head low and yeah, Xander totally got it now. Dragons were cute.

“You’re really fuckin’ pretty,” Xander told him as they approached.

Don’t look at their chest—too late. Fuck. Clearing their throat, Xander gave him a pointed glare. Right. Milo should try to be less obvious.

“Just… look at you!” Xander beamed, and Milo had to blink a few times because holy shit that smile?

“You’re pulling my tail,” Milo said with a dubious expression. “Please never say that again,” Xander bit out, trying not to laugh, and grateful their back was turned.

Not like they could just admit that… the longer they spent with Milo, the less in control they felt.

“The Bargain Hunter. Here before me. In my kitchen.” He backed them up all the way to the counter. Laid a hand on the flat surface behind them, effectively caging them in. “Drinking my tea and wearing my robe.” “It’s a very nice robe, to be fair,” Xander breathed, heart pounding in their chest at the proximity. “It’d be nicer off,” Milo hinted.

“I started going by Xander because—” “You don’t have to tell me, you know,” Milo interrupted softly. “Dead names are dead for a reason. I understand that, and you don’t owe me anything.”

“You held my hand,” they sniffled. Milo’s heart gave a rather fatal thump in his chest. This was it. This was how he died. Heart swelling with affection so grand it popped like a balloon.

“I love him,” Xander said, if only because he was owed an explanation. “I fucking love him.”

“Can I take care of you?” Xander asked. Milo pulled back, brow furrowed. “But that’s my job.” “Just this once,” they promised, refusing to take no for an answer.

“You’re cute when you’re domestic,” Milo teased. “Cute? Ew.” Xander shuddered playfully. “Hate that for me.” “I don’t,” Milo said, wrapping his arms around their waist once they were done. “Dangerous, impressive, scary, hot. And cute.”

“When I introduce you, what should I use? Partner?” Oh. Xander wondered when they would get used to Milo’s absolute acceptance. The more time they spent with him, the more Xander realized they’d never truly known what it was to be accepted. Xander once thought the hunters were the best it got, but Milo proved them wrong with every passing minute. “Partner is perfect,” they agreed casually, as if their whole chest wasn’t threatening to crack open from the size of their utter affection.

SOBBING

Xander’s chest ached from the force of affection that fluttered through them. What a stupid, lovable dragon.