How Not to Date a Dragon (Cautionary Tails, #2)
Rate it:
Open Preview
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between June 5 - June 6, 2023
7%
Flag icon
“Are you not taking me seriously, dude? What’s your problem?” The dragon blinked back at them. “What’s my problem? You’re the one who’s got a problem! You handcuffed me!”
7%
Flag icon
“So… are we getting a rideshare, or what?” “Yes! Yes we’re getting a fucking rideshare, Jesus!”
9%
Flag icon
And it faded instantly as Milo tried to get in the car first out of spite. However, it was Milo’s right hand that was cuffed to Xander’s left. He recognized his error as his arm was pulled across his body.
9%
Flag icon
“Fuck!” they shouted. “Fuck,” came quieter, on a frustrated breath. “Just get. Out of. The fucking. Car.” “Yep, doing that,” Milo muttered, sliding out to make room for Xander.
11%
Flag icon
Milo moved onto the next pocket, the landscape passing in a dizzying blur of darkness and trees and—hey the moon’s out!—and ouch, fuck as Xander literally bit his shoulder.
13%
Flag icon
“Well, listen. I am not sleeping smelling like… this. So you either magically take the cuffs off me, or you stand outside the fucking shower while I wash the lake out of my hair.” “I don’t have the key, asshole,” they snarled, taking a step closer.
14%
Flag icon
“A whip? Really? Are you fucking Indiana Jones?” Xander blinked innocently, deciding that ruffling this dragon’s scales was their new mission in life. “I can’t say I have, no.”
15%
Flag icon
“How are we gonna get dressed after the shower? These cuffs are really a pain in the ass,” Milo grouched, shooting them a less than favorable glare. “Oh, I’m sorry, was I the one who attacked you and lost the key?” they snapped.
15%
Flag icon
“Let me get this straight. You own not one, but two useless ponchos just because they feel nice?” Milo glanced over his shoulder, confusion clear on his face. “More than two, actually. That a problem?”
16%
Flag icon
When it came to their own jacket, Xander dug the knife in and carefully sliced it along the seam. “Smart,” they muttered. “Oh, I see, save your jacket but fuck my shirt, right?” “Once again, couldn’t read your mind. Should have spoken up sooner.”
16%
Flag icon
Yes. This was all a stupid ploy. Slutty fucking dragons. Milo was trying to seduce them! Get them to lower their inhibitions. Hmph. They’d show him. Xander was infallible. Unseducable.
16%
Flag icon
Shirtless. What? No. No, no. Removing clothes wasn’t necessary for smothering. Or maiming. Yes, maiming would do.
18%
Flag icon
“Yeah, yeah,” Xander said, and tugged the curtain aside to step out, knife in hand and still considering using it. Milo narrowed his gaze. “I know you know how stupid it would be to stab me, so I’ll let you keep that. Try to refrain from killing me in my sleep. It’d be really unfortunate.”
19%
Flag icon
Xander, however, would take the secret to their grave. No one had to know that they cuddled a dragon.
20%
Flag icon
Xander rolled over to glare at him some more. Stupid curls. Dumb full lips and his square, speckled jaw. And those lashes. Was this guy real? Xander was not checking him out. Nope…
21%
Flag icon
Unbidden, a hum slipped out. Once they realized, their eyes snapped open—when exactly had they drifted closed—to find Milo looking rather proud of himself. Something else, too, lurked in the depths of his eyes, but Xander wasn’t ready to explore that yet. Or ever! Never.
22%
Flag icon
“And what if they turn us away because you look too threatening?” “Me?” they asked in surprise and then drifted their gaze over Milo. “No, you’re right, I would be the threatening one. You look like a puppy.”
23%
Flag icon
“If you get me lost in here, I swear—” Milo hummed. “What, you’ll stab me and then drag around my dead body and hope the witches find you instead?” They glared at him. “Not every hit is a kill hit. I could maim you.” “Maim, huh? What would you do, take off a pinky?” “I think I’d start with your fucking hand so I can finally get these damned cuffs off!”
27%
Flag icon
When his lungs were in working order, he couldn’t help but tease them. “You gotta stop doing that,” Milo groused. “Doing what?” Xander retorted, exasperated. “Taking my breath away.”
85%
Flag icon
“I love you,” Milo murmured once he pulled back, and Xander’s chest went fizzy as their mind filled with white noise. Milo blinked, pulled back, and laughed. “Uh, I mean, in a totally casual, normal way. Y’know, as, I mean—” “I love you too,” Xander admitted. “Uh, I mean, in a really cool, practically bro-like way—” “Shut up,” Milo groaned, and tasted the laugh right off their lips.
86%
Flag icon
“Good morning.” “Jesus!” Milo shouted, spatula going haywire in his hand and sending the pancake sailing through the air. It landed on the floor with a splat, and Xander covered their mouth to hide their grin as Milo spun to face them. “You wraith,” he hissed. They stared at the dead pancake with amusement. “Well, that one’s yours,” Milo drawled.
86%
Flag icon
“I think you have a shopping addiction,” Xander teased. “Oh please, like it matters?” Milo said defensively. “I’ll turn you into a shopping addict too.” “Why, are you gonna be my sugar dragon?”
88%
Flag icon
“You’re cute when you’re domestic,” Milo teased. “Cute? Ew.” Xander shuddered playfully. “Hate that for me.”
91%
Flag icon
“Really? Milothedragon at gmail dot com? You’re serious?” “Don’t make fun of me,” he warned. They lifted one of their hands in a show of innocence. “I would never,” they lied, lips twitching. “Sending the data now, Mr. Obvious.”
91%
Flag icon
“Okay, listen—” “You can’t even use the excuse that you were like thirteen, because you were already centuries old when the internet was invented,” they laughed.
92%
Flag icon
“Wait, wait. So you’re telling me… you don’t have a treasure chest full of gold and jewels from hundreds of years ago like every other fucking dragon?”