Surviving to Drive: A Year Inside Formula 1

by Guenther Steiner

I’m a glass-is-half-full kind of idiot so as soon as the immediate aftermath of the season lifted I started getting excited about the new one.

‘But I don’t know them,’ said Chad. ‘I know,’ I said. ‘But I do.’ You see? Totally indispensable. How the world managed without me before I was born I have no foking idea.

I then had to put a business plan together. There were no lawyers and no fancy tricks, though. Just a simple PowerPoint presentation and a tall, ugly Italian with a big foking mouth.

After another six months the point had arrived where Gene and I had to either take a shit or get off the pot.

It’s just one of those things and I’m not worried. The people in Italy are, but that’s part of what they all do for a living. In fact, I might put that on their business cards next time. ‘Simone Resta – Technical Director at Haas F1 & World Champion Worrier.’ We’ll get there in the end.

The two things that every adult has in common is an opinion and an arsehole and when the two meet, bullshit suddenly appears.

The whole thing is what people these days call a very ‘fluid situation’, which basically means that nobody knows shit about what’s going on.

The only reason they want my opinion is to justify their own and I won’t give it to them. I don’t like being used.

At the end of the day the best outcome for everyone would have been Russia not invading Ukraine in the first place.

According to the media, I’ve been talking to Daniel Ricciardo. What, about who’s got the biggest foking nose?

One thing you never, ever do is kick a man while he’s down. That is an important principle of life for me. Even if Harvey had been well enough only to make the tea at a race, he’d have been welcome.