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Read between January 27 - January 27, 2025
8%
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My nose is clogged. Happens all the time in spring. I tear off some toilet paper and blow my nose. The result is a yellowish-green glob of snot. Folding the toilet paper over, I blow again and expel a little more, though not as globby and not as yellowish-green. I retrieve a zip-lock baggy from a drawer and place the snotty tissue inside it and seal it up and place it next to my wallet and house keys in the bedroom.
Kiley
Why is he keeping his snot...
9%
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This combination of foods is supposed to provide me with sufficient energy and mental acuity to start my day, keeping me sharp in case engaging in conversation with a woman is required.
Kiley
Main character is speaking like a total psychopath.
12%
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The only reason I own my own home is because my morbidly obese mother drank a little too much home-brewed cyanide tea on a hot summer day,
Kiley
He killed his mom??
15%
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Bartholomew,”
Kiley
Ew
17%
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It’s gooey looking. I scrape the cricket remains off my shoe with the end of my fingernail, then pick up both crushed halves, at the same time removing the empty zip-lock baggy from my pocket. As
Kiley
What the fuck
22%
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I’m not simply looking to get my man rod wet. I can just as easily derive sexual pleasure from mayonnaise jars or crawdad holes. And have.
Kiley
WILD.
23%
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I take the squashed cricket from my pocket and throw it in the fryer with the fries.
Kiley
WHAT
23%
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I don’t think it’s one I’ve masturbated into before. But it’s hard to keep track.
Kiley
EWWWWWWWWEEEE
25%
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After the show, I take a poop into a zip-lock and put it in the fridge next to a used jar of mayonnaise and Mimi, the next-door neighbor’s dead Chihuahua. She’ll need to be used soon, before she spoils.
Kiley
So foul