If Only I Had Told Her

by Laura Nowlin

I will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. I know I will always love her in the same way I know I’ll always need oxygen.

It seems so obvious now; it matters which people you spend time with, and it matters how you spend your time, because you don’t know how much you have.

“I’m doing good, seriously.” I’m not sure if it’s a lie or not. Maybe “good” isn’t the right word for where I am, but keeping my head above water when I feel like I’m drowning is good, right?

“Someday,” Brett says, “you’ll think of Finn, and it won’t hurt. It’s not that the hurt ever goes away. You saw me today. But sometimes? Sometimes when I remember Todd, I’m just happy that I got to be his brother. Someday you’ll have that with Finn. I know it.”

“Everyone always says they’re fine. Everyone can’t be fine all the time. We all just pretend it’s true.”

“Just because something seems impossible doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying,”