If Only I Had Told Her

by Laura Nowlin

I’d rather give away all my games than lose a minute of whatever has been happening between us since Jamie broke up with her.

We weren’t touching, but it felt like the atoms between us were warm with my love for her.

This is heaven: her forehead pressed into me, her head under my arm, and my hand on her shoulder. We found each other by instinct.

How am I going to live the rest of my life in love with Autumn Davis with no hope of reciprocation?

My love for her is the closest thing I have to religion. But it’s okay that she doesn’t feel the same. I’m fine. I can handle it.

Books are Autumn’s real life. She is made of the stories she has read.

“When you’re reading a book and you can’t focus, ask yourself, ‘How much is the writer’s fault, and how much is mine?’ Be honest. That’s how you’ll know if you should set it aside forever or for a few hours.”

But for today, I can feel how Finny is still with me.