The Rest of the Story

by Tal Bauer

“You have nothing to worry about. I promise you, they’re good people.” “’Course they are.” I pushed my forehead against his. “They made you.” “You sweet talker.”

Didn’t matter how unsettled or timid or out of my depth I was. I’d do anything for Shea. Charge hell with a bucket of water, turn a river to run upstream, put my bravery on and meet his parents. Anything at all.

That man seemed like somebody special, and I wanted to stretch myself out to fill in the shape of him. To be him for Shea.

“I really did lose my heart that day. I wasn’t just saying that last night or trying to impress your mom.” A tiny smile, and Shea swallowed hard and tightened his thighs around my waist. “I’m sorry it took my brain so long to catch up.” “Put it on me?” The bracelet was a perfect fit, two gold snaps closing the leather snug against his skin. I brushed the engraving, threaded our fingers together. “Every day since, Shea, I’ve been yours.” And I’ll be yours, as long as you want me.

“Marry me, Shea.” We were close enough my words were whispers of breath bouncing off his lips. “I’ve never wanted anything more than this: to love you, and cherish you, and honor you, and to spend the rest of my life as your man.”

“You are every dream I didn’t know I had, and every future I never knew I wanted, come true. I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy, or to love life this fully. Loving you has changed everything. Now, my future is yours, and my hopes and dreams are tied tight to your hopes and dreams.”

“My love for you has no end.” I slid the ring down Shea’s finger. “Will you marry me?” I whispered.

“Forever is not long enough with you—” Shea’s voice wavered “—but from today forward, every moment is ours.”

“Give me your hand,” Shea whispered, “and I will give you my forever.”

“I love you, I love you so much.” He hugged me back like he was made of iron forged in the center of the sun. So solid, so strong, so much I could happily hand him my life, and I did.

The most important ring in my life isn’t the Cup ring,” I said. “It’s the one on your hand that I put there.”

We were pure and utter fools for each other.

I’d been waiting for Shea for a long time. For my whole life, really, like he’d been waiting for me.

I needed him, needed him to ground me, pull me to him like he always did when I felt like I was about to fly out of my skin.

I was far too close already, and all he was doing was looking at me.

“I can see everything with you,” Shea breathed. “Any dream I have, I see it coming true with you.”

I had a feeling about Lawson, a feeling like maybe the only thing keeping him going was being inside his net and seeing Brody skating out in front of it. I needed to talk to him, man to man, one-on-one.

My philosophy is, the more you try and push something away, the greater control it has over you. Pushing something away gives it power, and power sows the seeds of terror. So when you’re clenching around something awful, and when you’re holding on and holding on, trying desperately not think about the past or what happened, all of your pain magnifies, and that’s when both terror and shame are given free rein to grow. Eventually, that terror, and the shame, and the pain, all feel like they’re strangling you. But when you confront that terror, and when you turn around and say to the pain that you’re not afraid any longer, you begin to break the stranglehold that all that darkness has over you. Talking is the first step of that journey.

“I don’t know what you did down there, Moogs, but whatever it was, keep doing it. Goddamn.” “I showed up,” I said. You showed up, Morgan, when you didn’t have to. That’s the finest thing a man can do in this life: be there for someone.

Shea turned to me, a soft grin stretching his cheeks. “Whatcha looking at, Husband?” You are everything to me, Shea. You are my mornings and my midnights, my days of sunshine and my nights of candlelight. You are my everything, and my love for you has no end. I smiled. “You.”