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Would asking him to blow on my vajazzle be too much? Because my pretty kitty was on fire.
“Ohhhh, someone does not look happy. Such a protective friend, huh?” She chuckled and then winked at me.
and he punched him in the face.
This looked like the alpha penis.
“Don’t be a baby?” she asked her father, and we all laughed as we walked behind them.
A loud enough growl left Hugh’s lips that had Cage and Finn turning to see what was going on. Sebastian barked out a laugh.
Cage chuckled as if he knew this was not going to go over well.
“Well, I have a gift for helping people along. So, you’re welcome,” he said, his voice low.
was a repeated clarity that I experienced day after day with this woman. My heart no longer belonged to me. It was hers. No one else would ever have it—that I was certain of.
#13. Tell Hugh Reynolds that I love him. Not a friendship kind of love. That I-can’t-live-without-you, people-write-poetry-about kind of love. The real deal.
Do we need to have Hugh kick his ass, or did you dump him?
He gets migraines because his IQ is abnormally high, and he can’t turn his brain off.
Coming now. Finn That’s what she said!
I leaned in close to whisper in her ear. “I’ve taken a vow of celibacy, you know, since the Irritable Bowel Syndrome started. There’s nothing quite like getting the shits in the throes of passion.” Her eyes doubled in size, and she pulled her hand away. That oughta do it.
And she’s asking about veneers because she thinks the other chicks have better teeth.
She informed me that taking off a half an inch of hair that has belonged to her for a long time is an emotional experience.”
“Because I can’t wait to see the infamous Hugh Reynolds running around town like a pussy-whipped motherfucker who can’t live without his girl,”
Is he in love with Mrs. Runither or Lila?
If Hugh didn’t want me to leave, I’d need him to tell me that.
god i hate bitches
He looked… upset. Sad. Wounded. That couldn’t be right. He’d known I was leaving this whole time. I was probably making something out of nothing.
UGHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
He nodded. “I like seeing you all pussy whipped. It looks good on you.”
“I don’t think it gets any better than that. And who knows? You could fly there, and she could reject your ass.” Brax laughed with this dopey smile on his face, and I rolled my eyes.
brax is such an asshole this is hilarious
We used Finn’s points.”
because you know that I bruise like a peach.
“Thank God that one of us is okay. I feel like I’m going to shit my pants.”
“Oh, I don’t think glass bottles are a good idea.”
“Holy shit. Never thought I’d see the day.” Travis held up his bottle to clink it against mine.
“Trying not to be offended over here,” Brax said,
that life is what you make it.
i quite genuinely didn’t even have the chance to read this normally, my brain immediately started singing hannah montana
Mayralee Martinez liked this
“Are you really going to pull out the national title when I just sprinted all the way here with you in my arms?”
He’s not a congressman.
Cage, do you remember when Hugh pooped in the house when he was around five years old because he wanted to measure it, so he took a big shit behind Mom’s fake Ficus tree?
Willie Nelson is a country singer. It was Johnny Nelson. Have you all been dipping in the sauce already?
You’d have a fucking quarter? You’ve gotten almost everything you’ve ever auditioned for.
