Infinite Jest

by David Foster Wallace

‘Something this broken Ivy Leaguer said, some AA sally. He said that only one newcomer in a million actually trudges into an Alcoholics Anonymous Closed Meeting and in fact doesn’t belong there.’ ‘Meaning doesn’t turn out to have the Disease you mean.’ ‘Yes. And that he said that quote if You—looking right at yours truly, seemingly, with that wearily amused patient expression you all must practice in front of the mirror—he said that only one newcomer in a million doesn’t belong here, and if quote You think You’re that one-in-a-million, You definitely belong here. And everyone howled with mirth, stomped their feet and blew coffee through their noses and wiped their eyes with the backs of their hands and elbowed each other. Howled with mirth.’ ‘But you were, like, unsmiling at it.’ ‘And everyone labels as Denial or ingratitude what’s actually horror, Don. The horror of acknowledging that you do apparently have some sort of problem with mild sedatives and fine Chianti, and wanting with all sincerity to give every fair chance to a treatment-modality which millions swear up and down has helped them with their own problem.’ ‘You’re talking about AA.’ ‘To want very much to believe in it, and to try, and then to your horror find the Program riddled with these obvious and idiotic fallacies and reductia ad absurdum which—’ ‘I’m going to need to ask you to try and say that again in words I can follow, Geoffrey, if you want me to be right there alongside with you. And I’m sorry if tha...