Last Call at the Local (Love, Lists & Fancy Ships, #3)

by Sarah Grunder Ruiz

“Are you flirting with me?” When the man laughs, it makes me want to laugh too. “I wasn’t, but I can if you’d like.”

the pathetic little giggle I just gigged

I am very much freaked out . . . by the intensity and immediacy of my attraction to this man.

I'm very much freaked out too

And this Jack . . . I like him.

We're 6% of the way through the book. Page 14.

But after twenty-eight years of living with ADHD, I’m so used to making these little mistakes, so used to frustrating the people in my life with them unintentionally, that even the tiny ones feel huge because they’re a reminder that I fall so short of what is expected.

okay.......we have entered thin ice

I’ve got enough failure in my life already. Music is my one sure thing. If I lose my love for it, what do I have?

oh yikes girl have you ever tried therapy? Hope this helps! <3

What Jack said unnerved me a bit. Not in a bad way. It just wasn’t what I expected. Usually when I apologize for going on like that, people laugh it off or say it’s okay. No one has ever suggested that I wasn’t oversharing.

Mental illness and neurodivergency rep in romance books is so insane to me because the whole thing is going to be that Person A falls in love with Person B because they are the first person to ever not be ablelist to them.

“That’s what she said.”

Spare me if this is the point of tension in this book

Ollie sighs, and I can tell I’m wearing him down. “You sure you and that girl don’t have a connection?” “Well, of course we’ve got some sort of connection, but not in the way you’re thinking.”

maybe it's the misandrist in me but men do not talk to eachother like this

Jack is a clown. Jack is fun. Jack worries he’ll kill someone on a weekly basis. Jack isn’t one hundred percent sure he hasn’t and will ask you about it a million times. It’s all fun and games until my OCD flares up. Then people decide it’s too much. The whole time my ex was breaking up with me, I wanted to say, If you think it’s too much for you, imagine being me! But I didn’t say it. There was no point.

This seems like a pretty good representation of OCD (though I can't say for super sure because I don't have it but) and what I am about to say doesn't negate that fact: -when mental health is approached this way in books it is borderline exhausting. I understand as someone who is neurodivergent and steadily mentally ill that it is not something you can just turn off. But sometimes books go so fucking ham on it. Like I don't go through every single day thinking "ugh not me doing this again, this is because of my depression. My depression makes me so morose sometimes. Sometimes i just ignore my friends and lay in bed and this is because of my depression." or "I wish I didn't have my ADHD because it's so annoying to myself and others. My ADHD is so quirky to people until it isn't because my ADHD is a prison I will never escape from and everybody I`ve ever been attracted to has hated me for my ADHD." This isn't to say this line of thinking is unrealistic. It's just kind of odd. -There's this thing to telling vs showing- when the character or authour is TELLING me "This is because of my _. I act like this and say & do _ because of my _." it's kind of removing any nuance to be gained. And there is no room for a reader to flex their literary competence, lliteracy, and inference skills. You can say point blank this character has OCD- but sometimes it's better to SHOW how they struggle rather than just telling me every third paragraph. -As for the other part of this, it sucks to read characters that are so internally-abelist to themselves. Again, not saying that this is something that doesn't exist, or can't be helped by an amazing support system. But this is a romance book. The book is for the most part- going to be about these two people sharing a romance, not about them going through their respective mental health journeys of healing and acceptance. These people are seemingly at such low points- so clearly not doing well mentally, that I find it alarming that I'm meant to root for them to bang and not go to a therapists office. I feel bad for them. I'm not saying people can't heal one another, and I'm not saying that mentally ill people don't deserve to be in loving romantic relationships when they are struggling. It just all feels like three seperate journeys. And usually in books like these, "healing" and "acceptance" comes from the fact that someone they find hot is like "I love you AND your mental illness/disability" and nobody has EVER said that to them so they're like gunning to jump into bed together.

When Raine leans over the edge of the tub, I try not to stare at her arse.

arse

I’ve never met someone outside of a therapist or doctor who actually understood OCD without my having to explain it. Hell, there are doctors I’ve had to explain it to.

Guys what did I say? What did I say?

I managed to head up to Dublin a few times a month to tattoo clients, but then my OCD got in the way, and it became too much.

"I used to be a tattoo artist but then my OCD got in the way, because of my OCD compulsions, the thoughts I have like this and this as this dialogue follows about three previous pages talking about my OCD and the thoughts I have because of my OCD." I hope I'm not being like the rudest person alive but it's all giving: "Oh right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen specifically for Kuzco. Kuzco's poison."

When she lifts her gaze to mine, the first thing I think is, I’ve fucked up, because it’s at that exact moment I realize I’m going to be undone by this girl.

Yeah it's so on

But my problem isn’t that I don’t think. It’s that my brain only has two modes: think everything all at once and make sense of none of it, or think about one thing obsessively at the expense of whatever actually needs my attention.

Now I could be wrong...but I think this is all because of her ADHD.

Clara’s mouth tips into a crooked smile. It’s my favorite thing about her. It’s not a beautiful smile, but it’s a real one.

Okay calling your sister ugly, check.

Clara is silent. And when there’s silence, I can’t help but fill it. Blame the faulty frontal lobe.

get it? because the faulty frontal lobe is because of her ADHD.

There’s a mysterious stain on her coat, normal for someone like me,

So true when you have ADHD you just are so messy and slobby

Also, do you have any Raine-proof dinner recipes?

People with ADHD can't cook or use a microwave it's true

As soon as he says it, I know why he’s asking. “I’m not wearing my boots, am I?”

Like I'm so sorry like- I have ADHD and there isn't a day on this earth no matter how much I am ping ponging around that I would forget to put on shoes before walking outside. That's ridiculous. Forget my car keys and walk out of the house to my car up to three times in one morning? Definitely. Lose my shoes I intended to wear and tear apart the house looking for them? Oh, for sure. SHOWING UP TO WORK IN JUST MY SOCKIES? Fuck off dude

I can be a butthead when I’m interrupted .

butthead

Though Martina would tell me that my OCD and me are not the same thing.

So far this book has been more about you and your relationship with OCD than it has been about you and this love interest- or you and the bar you're trying to save

The woman makes friends faster than a tattoo machine pierces skin.

If you didnt know he used to be a tattoo artist before his OCD cursed him

she looks more like herself. Not that I know anything about it, seeing as I haven’t even known her for a month.

Therein lies the problem

You’ve gotta believe in what you make, otherwise why would anyone else?”

Okay real

“That’s what she said.”

They gotta stop

“Do you remember those musicians we met on Oliver Plunkett Street when we went to Cork last week?” I do remember. Raine made friends within a few minutes of our arrival in Cork.

Nice of you to tell us this happened and not show us

“Have you ever heard of Grumpy Cat?” I ask. She narrows her eyes. “Yes. Why?” “You look like Grumpy Cat right now. It’s very charming.”

Ay yi yi

“That’s what she said,” I whisper.

I'm sick and tired of acting like these people aren't almost thirty

Raine That’s what she said.

This book is so over