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I wondered for the four hundredth time why the hell I can’t figure out how to adult successfully.
It’s fucking rude that he’s so good-looking. It offends me.
“Grief is grief. You don’t have to qualify it.”
A word of advice: if you see a woman who is actually crying, staring at her in bewilderment is a horrible strategy to make her feel better.
“Paul really likes the TikTok?” “He’s been calling it a Tic Tac, but yeah, he’s into it.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the more perfect it looks on the outside, the messier that shit is on the inside.”
“You don’t have to give me one back. That secret was on me. Just couldn’t keep it.”
“Lie down,” he says hoarsely. “I’m hungry.”
You dated a woman who worked for NASA.” “And you mean more to me in two weeks than she did in nearly a year, you little Google stalker,” he snaps out, genuinely affronted.
