How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told

by Harrison Scott Key

The sofa makes a fine bed, if you’re looking to ponder your profoundest regrets while herniating a disc.

Pop knew that the best way to rid yourself of trauma was to bequeath it to your children. He was a generous man.

The old me started dying that day—all of me, even my reading habits.

I knew marriage could happen, like gallstones or the death of a beloved pet.

I felt it might be good to find a church that didn’t make you need to get high just to not hate it.

He reminded me of my father, being the only pastor I’ve ever heard use the phrase rectal procedure in a sermon.