How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told

by Harrison Scott Key

I was so sad I listened to Bob Dylan, which always makes me sad, because the man just cannot sing, but his songs can tear open a heart and let it bleed good blood.

be. It felt like darkness.”

The reality is that every marriage is a partnership of two broken assholes with good intentions and varying degrees of ability to deliver.

got weird, although they got a little weird. Most didn’t know. Many did. “I know what everybody’s thinking,” Lauren

When I was growing up, my grandmother would often say, “I’m sweating like a whore in church.” As a kid, I assumed this imaginary whore was sweating in church because she knew Jesus was watching her and scowling his disapproving scowl. But now I know. The whore is not sweating in church because of Jesus. She’s sweating because of all the Christians.