While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence

by Meg Kissinger

But our family’s shorthand way of dealing with these situations—by simply not discussing them or making light of it—had an insidious way of fueling shame and blame where none was warranted.

Only love and understanding can conquer this disease. As far as I was concerned, Danny summed up everything you need to know in those eight little words. If you love someone, you will try to understand them. You won’t turn away.

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, the reason is that you’re stupid and make bad decisions.”

This is what telling your story can do, she told them. It can bring the dead back to life—not in the same way but as a kind of transformation. It doesn’t take away the injury, but it can give you a feeling of power when you are in control of the narrative. The balance is shifted back to you. There’s new life, resurrected.