The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments

by Hadley Vlahos

Lately, I had been practicing coming from a place of empathy rather than sympathy. My therapist and I talked a lot about this too. For so long—even dating back to my earliest days in the ER—I had functioned from a place of sympathy. I put myself in my patient’s or their caregiver’s shoes; I put myself in the shoes of people like Will. I felt their pain, I felt their loss, and it affected me deeply. To be honest, I think this ability to feel what other people are feeling is part of what makes me a good nurse, and especially a good hospice nurse. But it also takes a personal toll, and I’m sure it’s one of the reasons why nurses experience so many mental health challenges and don’t last for long in the field. In fact, only one out of every four hospice nurses makes it beyond five years, from what I’ve heard.

Empathy, on the other hand, is the ability to feel for a person and their situation without being personally affected by it. Empathy allows me to be present and compassionate without taking on a situation as my own, and it has allowed me to continue being a good nurse without burning out or engaging in the dark humor that so many people in my profession do, for their own sanity. It