The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments

by Hadley Vlahos

I reminded myself to live for today, not the fears of tomorrow—a promise I had made to myself when I started working in hospice.

I started to reframe my work with the understanding that sometimes doing “nothing” (as I would have thought of it in nursing school and my previous jobs) was doing something. It was being there, offering comfort and solidarity—and that mattered. A lot.

“I won’t judge you and I won’t push my personal beliefs on you. If you want to keep it, I’ll love it. If you don’t want to, I’ll take that secret to the grave.”

“You’re going to have to give up your ideal life in order to live the life planned for you.

As time has passed, I’ve found it to be generally true in life that, in the end, things are usually okay. Sometimes it just takes a lot of hard work and uncertainty to get there.

When the time comes, we all want the same things: care, comfort, and connection.

I am continually amazed at how life just continues on as usual, despite the tragedy that exists all around us.

I wish I would have spent more time with my loved ones. I wish I’d just eaten the damn cake.”

“Well, I have a baby at home so I need to stay employed and out of jail.”

“If there’s an afterlife, will you send me a sign, baby?” she said to him. I watched as he took one more shallow breath. Sometimes you’re not sure if someone’s breath will be their last, but other times you just know it is. I knew it was Reggie’s last. “Lisa,” I said cautiously. “No. Don’t do anything,” she said, continuing to hold his hand. I didn’t move. At that moment, the radio host announced that “a special request just came in for a special someone” and the crow of a country singer soon followed. “Randy Travis,” Lisa said. “This was the song we danced to at our wedding.” Chills ran up and down my spine.