Dear Mothman: A Novel in Verse

by Robin Gow

He’s crying because not even finding Mothman will bring Lewis back.

Were you saying “goodbye”? I don’t think I can say that yet.

I’m realizing, I can’t believe I’m alive either and I’m wondering what it means that I came so close to the world of monsters and that I came back.

I feel this like rush of feelings and tears hot on my face. I just didn’t think I would make any friends after Lewis was gone— I thought it would be just me and Mothman and this darkness that was so thick inside me it felt like a whole person. “Thank you,” I say, not knowing how to tell Hanna all that.

To show them everything not just about Mothman but what being a monster means— how it’s like being a queer person? That I’m a queer person. The beauty of the unknown darkness and wild magic of a creature so few people get to see.

They don’t understand that being trans is magical and awesome and where I feel at home. They don’t understand that Lewis was fantastic like this and there’s so much that’s sad—

I don’t mind thinking differently than other people. I wouldn’t even know I was “Noah” if I thought like everyone else.

I think monsters are here to make people like me feel less alone.

Tell me, Mothman, do you ever look at yourself and feel surprised by who you’ve become? I looked in the mirror today and I saw a boy—I felt like a real person.