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October 2 - November 7, 2024
Sexual orientation, regardless of how we identify, isn’t just a choice we make or a phase we go through. It isn’t imposed on us by others and it’s not a result of our behaviors. It’s part of how we’re built. It’s fundamental to who we are.
Show yourself compassion. Give yourself grace. We don’t have to have all the answers right now. We can make our best guesses. We can get comfortable in the uncertainty. And we can keep being curious, keep exploring, keep learning.
Yes, more people in the world experience sexual attraction than not. But that fact doesn’t make that experience a default. It doesn’t make that experience right. And conversely, it doesn’t make other, less common experiences deviations from a default. It doesn’t make other, less common experiences wrong.
If you’re a radio, sexual attraction is your “song.” It may contain the same notes and beats that everyone else’s song does. But the arrangement is specific to you. Doesn’t matter how loud or soft you play it, how fast or slow or often, your song is your song.
The split-attraction model recognizes that sexual, romantic, and other attractions are not intrinsically connected, and that they can work independently of each other.

