Gather Me: A Memoir in Praise of the Books That Saved Me

by Glory Edim

At the lowest points in my life, the most isolated and difficult times, when I was sad, when I was confused, or frozen, or drifting, or desperate, I reached for a book.

When I was joyful, successful, well nourished, and content, I reached for a book.

When the people I depended on disappeared or turned their backs, when I was handed what felt like too much to bear, when I was trying to do right by those I loved, when I was desperately trying to block out the raised voices in the room next to mine, or waiting for an answer that never came, when...

Books have been my ladder, my stepping-stones, my therapist, my teacher, my medicine, my parents, my religion, my lover, my fool, my instructional manual for life. Words, sentences, pages, and chapters have echoed my loneliness, reflected my joy, guided me to the shadowy corners of my heart and soul that needed to be coaxed into the light, given me strength, helped me grow and change. Books taught me to bloom. Books gave me my direction. My career. My community. My chosen family. My purpose.

If life teaches us anything, it may be that it’s necessary to suffer some defeats…. One must learn to care for oneself first, so that one can then dare to care for someone else. That’s what it takes to make the caged bird sing.

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”

“A person is the product of their dreams. So make sure to dream great dreams. And then try to live your dream.”

I feel like an emotional response to something should never be ignored or taken as without value. Because that emotional response is the way you learn to trust your own intuition. It’s the way you build your sense of innately knowing that something is not right.

“Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented.”

“Work is love made visible,”

I never completed a book without a renewed sense of possibility. Between

“We do not have to love. We choose to love.” She goes on to explain that healthy love is a verb, not a noun, and that how we treat our beloved, and what kind of treatment we accept back from them, is the real stuff that love is made of.

If and when I looked for love again, I told myself that I would still be vigilant in choosing what kind of love I wanted, and I would be brave enough to let myself fall, but I would also be wise enough to remember that I didn’t need more than what I already inherently had.

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.

“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.”

My silence had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.”—I

The written word is something we can return to, and depend on, over and over again.

Living your life swamped with lies or insisting that silence makes you strong can only lead to shame and regret. It places you at a distance from your heart and the hearts of the people you love. And I know that sometimes it can be scary to tell the truth. You might think it will get you into trouble, or give someone the opportunity to hurt you. But I think you will find that keeping secrets or telling lies will always result in more pain than simply expressing what really happened and how you truly feel about it.

Books made me who I am, Zik. They gave me wisdom and laughter, beauty and truth. Books challenged me and comforted me; they made me stretch and grow. Books showed me how to dream and plan. They made me cry in big, gasping, ugly sobs. Books made me furious. Sometimes they put me to sleep. Books made me nostalgic and gave me great hope for the future. They gave me a mirror to look into. A voice to my pain. They showed me a path. They lifted me to the stars. They let me escape to a new world when the world I was living in was barely survivable. I was saved by books,

To be well-read is a transformative way of being in and with the world. It hinges on curiosity and the desire for freedom,