Developmental theories of maladaptive perfectionism all echo the same sentiment: when basic needs for love and belonging go unmet in a child, all the energy that would normally go into building a healthy sense of autonomy (exploring self-interests and building healthy relationships with others) gets redirected into trying to belong and earn love.[17] This appeal for connection can take the form of trying to be superficially perfect: I’m doing everything perfectly, so will you love me now?
