The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power

by Katherine Morgan Schafler

There’s an odd irreverence that accompanies being present. You don’t need anything to happen. You don’t need anyone to like you. You’re fully relieved of the small-mindedness of your thoughts, detached from the strain of trying to bend the future towards you and make everything happen now. When you’re present, your life now is not dictated by that of your past; it’s dictated by possibility. You’re encased in your own wholeness and at the same time, you are utterly free. A misconception about being present is that presence equals happiness. We take deep breaths, fix our posture, then wait. We’re waiting to feel something. Shiny, clean, ready—happy. The way people in car commercials look like they feel. You can be present and feel tired. You can be present and feel heartbroken. You can be present and not feel ready. Presence guarantees freedom, not happiness.