When you don’t trust yourself, you’re waiting to catch yourself in a mistake so you can pounce on your own certainty about how unworthy of trust you are. You get petty. You become fixated on your mistakes, and you keep a tally of those mistakes. In contrast, when you notice you’ve been numbing out all week beyond a level you’re comfortable with and you do trust yourself, you think, Huh, I’ve been numbing out so much, there must be something I need that I’m not getting. I wonder what that is. I wonder who could help me figure that out. When you trust yourself, there’s no tally of mistakes.
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