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January 9 - January 19, 2024
be open
You need upward counterfactuals to generate progress
everyone has that problem.
You have to acknowledge the hurt so you can extend self-compassion and move forward.
counterfactual thoughts inform everything:
elaborative counterfactual thoughts are consciously directed,
just thinking about what you want to change without doing a single thing about it is a stage of change.[20]
The action stage is marked by behavioral changes.
Ironically, the maintenance stage is the one that requires the most support. Regression is a natural part of growth.
You can spend years in any one stage of change.
Comparing yourself to others is a maladaptive waste of your energy.
because then it would have to be less of itself. 5. Happiness
Being compassionate with yourself about the simple things that are hard for you is a choice you have the power to make. Acknowledging the gifts inside the simple things that are easy for you is also a choice you have the power to make.
Anything you do to protect, save, restore, and build your energy is productive. Productive activities include but are not limited to sleeping, listening to music, lingering in bookstores, taking a bath, washing your car, completing the work assignment, good conversation, cooking, redecorating, watching a movie, getting a manicure, playing basketball, reading, walking, and singing in the shower. Anything that helps you operate with premium energy is productive. With premium-quality energy, you can access your abilities in a way that “burnt-out you” could never compete with.
Closure is a fantasy wherein you can bookend remnant confusion with bricks of logic so that everything makes perfect sense. Closure is a fantasy wherein all pain can be justified and all suffering exists for a righteous reason. Closure is the fantasy that you get to pick which feelings are attached to which memories. Closure is the fantasy that you can catalog your pain, put it in the emotional version of alphabetical order, and then have it stay organized. Closure is the fantasy that you can always exfoliate away the rough surface of an experience to reveal its reassuringly pure and
...more
Wow.
When we say we want closure, what we really want is control. Understandably, we want to hold our past, our connections, our traumas, our memories, and all the attendant emotions on our own terms. If we go one level deeper, when we say we want closure, what we’re really saying is that we’re grieving.
who said that the opposite of play isn’t work; the opposite of play is depression.
INTENSE PERFECTIONISTS: expressing aggression in healthy ways, like playing sports or exercising
Needing validation is not a reflection of insecurity; it’s a central mode of connection.
you’re trying to avoid loss.
Every choice you make involves a loss. You cannot live in all the cities, you cannot marry all the people, you cannot accept all the offers, you cannot give life to all the ideas.
You take an inventory of your values and decide what
you want to commit to and what you don’t.
you still love organizing, you still love making it beautiful—but you do it because you want to, not because everything will fall apart if you don’t.
to, not because everything will fall apart if you don’t.
it’s that you want to matter—to others, to the world, and to yourself.
you matter now, and your life is now.
You give yourself permission to be supported.
it’s that you long to feel whole and to help others feel whole.
Reframes that recognize the fluidity of mental health move the field in the right direction.
The difference between an opinion and a judgment is that an opinion reflects your thoughts and perspective, whereas a judgment reflects your thoughts and perspective alongside an analysis of your worth as compared to that of others.
Wowwwww. The intense perfectionist in me needs this!!!
Avoiding high fructose corn syrup is better than consuming it.
Avoiding high fructose corn syrup is better than consuming it, so I’m a better person than you are because you consume high fructose corn syrup and I don’t.
These sorts of thoughts are littered throughout my mind
book The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients;
The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients;
Striking when the iron is cold is about consciously choosing the moment when the intervention, feedback, or appeal for connection is most likely to be received.
It’s easy to mistake isolation for independence and being stubborn for being strong.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself.
Whatever you value, consciously or not, you’re going to pursue with full force; as a perfectionist, you won’t be able to help it. To the best of your ability, get clear and intentional on what your most deeply held values are.
Loyalty
Artistry
Conne...
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H...
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Service
Honesty
Privacy
Solitude
Freedom
Curiosity
