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There was no escaping it—people were out to be seen and heard, however pointless it seemed sometimes. For every moment I was hopeful, there were hours of helplessness that stormed through like a heavy rain.
There is a sadness I feel and don’t often talk about. I don’t know how to fix it. It doesn’t excuse anything, but to add to all that, times were rough. The sun rose, the sun set. Cars rolled past me, and people carried on. I don’t know why we’re born, but I think a lot of people waste so much time not thinking about what they could do to make the world a little better. Make their own lives a little better. Even though I didn’t know how to make mine any better than it was. I worried that I would die in my car. That I would die unfulfilled. Or that I would die and not know what an easy day felt
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I’d kiss her when she realized how good our life could be together. What was I thinking? I couldn’t help it. I knew our lives could be so good together.

