Tell Me Everything: A Memoir

by Minka Kelly

How do you reduce your experience down to a sound bite when you haven’t processed or even had the time to understand and accept or make peace with all that’s happened?

My relationships have been mirrors of how I felt about myself. I’ve only been treated as well as I thought I deserved.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s to trust my instincts that warn me about potentially difficult situations.

“Whatever isn’t claimed as our own is projected.”

After years of discussing my backstory with therapists, I found myself in what I called “awareness hell.” I was acutely conscious of all the patterns and unhealthy choices I made with men, but I didn’t know how to unravel those wires.

Anytime I was triggered, I was acting as if the event in my childhood was happening right now. It will never cease to amaze me that we re-create the environments we grew up in because it’s what we know.

Triggers will always be a part of my life, but I can choose how I respond to those triggers.

A woman fully awake to herself is a formidable creature.