The fear of intimacy is also a fear of the loss of self. There is the well-known paradox that the person with ADD craves real human contact, feels like an outsider and wishes to belong—but at the same time is reclusive, often preferring his own company to that of others. The paradox is due to his oscillating back and forth between two fears: the anxiety of loneliness and abandonment, and, opposing that, a parallel sense of danger that if he commits to a relationship, he will be overwhelmed, swallowed up.
