Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia (Zoey Ashe #3)

by Jason Pargin

She glanced over her shoulder at Wu. “I have a question. If somebody came and attacked me right now, would your guy back there with the sword stop it? Or does he only stop it if they come for you?” “I would stop it,” answered Wu. “Not in my capacity as Zoey’s personal security, but as man in position to do something.” “Interesting. How does a guy like you get into a job like this?” Wu smiled. “Do you want the short version or the long?” “You choose.” “I joined the army, based on a promise that I would learn a marketable skill, which I believed would assuage my worried parents. I also held a secret belief that it would make me seem like more of a man to all of the girls back home who, without exception, saw me only as friend material. I wound up getting sent to South Korea as part of the peacekeeping force there, once it became clear the mess in the north was going to spill over. The joke was that we were there to be the corpses they could show on the news to justify a full military intervention, but it was one of those jokes that was also true. I did, in fact, discover a lucrative skill, though it was not the one my parents were hoping for, or what any parent wants for their son, I suppose. Once I was out, I took a job as a bouncer at a club. I went viral on Blink for an altercation in which I subdued several men. The rest is very uninteresting history.” “I doubt it’s uninteresting,” said Lyra, “but I know we’re short on time. One more question: Were the other soldiers wei...