Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia (Zoey Ashe #3)

by Jason Pargin

“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying,” slurred Andre around a cigar. “I’m not a religious man, I’m not saying I believe it. I’m saying that the Bible itself says God is a cheat. If he came into one of our joints we’d have to kick him out.” Zoey was gazing vacantly at the city lights sprawled out behind tendrils of smoke. They were at a rooftop cigar lounge that Budd had frequented and possibly owned. Golden braziers kept the chill at bay and the most beautiful man Zoey had ever seen was tinkling away on a grand piano at the center of the space. Zoey suspected her hair would stink like aged tobacco for a month. “You know the bit in the New Testament where Jesus resurrected that guy?” continued Andre. “What was his name?” “Lazarus,” said Echo. “Yeah. Budd told me one time—and Budd grew up religious, you know—he told me one time that that bit was the one that stuck with him. Because Jesus finds out his friend has died, and Jesus is God incarnate, but this man, this man who was also God, he goes and when he sees the corpse, you know what he does? He cries.” “‘Jesus wept,’” muttered Echo. “In Sunday school we had to memorize a verse and I picked that one because it’s only two words long.” She glanced over at Zoey. “Your cigar has gone out.” “Yeah, I think mine is defective.” “You’re supposed to take a puff every minute or so,” noted Will. “It won’t just burn itself down.” “Eh, the wet end is getting gross anyway.” “I’m still talking,” said Andre as a server set a fresh drink on ...