More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
only to wake up the next morning with no idea whose bed I’m in, how I got there...or a single recollection of the events from the night before.
The days I wish I never came to Leighton have become much more frequent lately. Though it’s got nothing to do with the school or party life or drunken sorority girls spilling beer on me, and everything to do with having too deep of a loyalty to my best friend.
A night spent drunk and desperate to escape reality is a toxic combination: a fact proven in this very house last year when I made the single greatest mistake of my life.
I am the definition of a cliché. A cliché only made worse by his refusal to acknowledge my existence when I see him everywhere now. In class, around campus. At every one of Kason’s games, thanks to them being teammates. He’s impossible to escape. Like fucking herpes.
“We’re best friends,” I tell him, not holding on one iota. His brows clash together. “I know we are.” “Right, so I was under the impression we’d tell each other everything.” And as those words leave my mouth, I feel the full weight of their hypocrisy. Especially since I’ve neglected to tell him about the night I spent with Holden last year.
“I’m sorry about Phoenix. He’s just a little protective. Best friends, you know?” My attention flicks over his shoulder to where Phoenix is standing, only to find him glaring daggers at me. An action reading less best friend and more jealous boyfriend.
I’m in the middle of yet another heated Bronco versus Wrangler debate with Theo,
I try picturing myself in his ostentatious mustard-yellow Bronco, rolling through town with the top off, and I just shake my head. “No way, man. If I’m driving the thing anywhere, it’s off the nearest fifty-foot cliff.” All Theo does is laugh. “You say that now, but I promise you’ll convert once you do.”
His cheeks are flushed, like he just ran a marathon or something, and he glances around the crowd like he’s in search of someone. It’s more flustered and disoriented than I’ve ever seen him. Then I realize the someone he could be looking for is probably me, and it’s time to head out.
“Were you hooking up with someone, then?” His eyes shift to me. “Yeah, Hold. I took a page straight from your playbook and let someone get on their knees for me in the upstairs bathroom with a bunch of other people right outside. Best blowjob of my life; the scent of weed and stale beer truly was the best kind of aphrodisiac. I get why you enjoy it now. Ten outta ten, highly recommend.” I snort out a laugh and shake my head at the snarky bullshit that just left his mouth, knowing it’s for sure that—a bunch of bullshit.
“And what did he bring you?” “Blue Gatorade,” he says, holding up the sports drink. “He brings me one before every game, and I’ll bring him a bag of dill pickle sunflower seeds during baseball season. Kinda been a ritual of ours since high school.”
There’s a niggling feeling in the back of my mind as we lock eyes, and it’s got nothing to do with the pure hatred radiating from him all the way to where I’m standing on the sideline. It’s something else entirely, but I can’t put my finger on what, and it’s driving me mad. Almost like there’s a piece of the puzzle I’m missing. Some memory I’ve lost or interaction I’ve locked away in the recesses of my mind, yet I can’t quite figure out why I’m getting that feeling in the first place. All I know is there’s gotta be some reason for the animosity he holds for me. A reason not at all related to
...more
There’s a plea of forgiveness in his eyes as he continues to stare at me. One that gets my forgiveness every fucking time he’s bailed in the past—albeit on accident—and I’m certain this time is no different. Kason might be forgetful, but Mom always did say I’m loyal to a fault.
Pettiness isn’t in my nature—I’m normally a lot more easygoing than this. I should be happy that Kason is branching out, meeting new people. Dating a guy, or at least finally exploring his sexuality after being closeted for so long. He was for me when I first started seeing Nico last year, though he’s since admitted he wasn’t a fan of the guy.
“Well, the only problem I can see is your parents never teaching you how to share.” My nostrils flare, annoyance growing as I stare him down. “Sharing is easy if the other person is deserving of it.” “You two about done here, or do we need to whip them out and measure to end this?” Kason snaps. For a second, I completely forgot he was at the table with us; all
“Not necessary,” Holden says, a smirk sitting on his lips. “We both know who’d win.” “Fitting, seeing as you’re the biggest dick.” “Jesus take the wheel,” Kason mutters, eyes shifting to the ceiling before landing on me in a death glare. I raise my hands in surrender. “Just saying, irony works in many ways.”
“What time are you supposed to be picking up Kason?” A crease crinkles his forehead. “Seven-thirty.” Not long after practice ends, giving him maybe…forty minutes to shower, change, and make it to our apartment. Perfect.
“Maybe something came up. Did you try texting him?” “Ten minutes ago, but no answer.” I let out a sigh and shrug. “I have no idea, then.” Except, I do have an idea as to why Holden isn’t here and why he hasn’t texted. Because when I decided to sneak into the football locker room and steal all Holden’s clothes from out of his stall, I made sure to take his phone, wallet, and car keys too.
But no harm, no foul.” Holden continues, and once my focus shifts back to him, he adds, “I wasn’t about to let it ruin our date.” This dickhead. The only person utterly oblivious to what is happening here is Kason—though I have no clue how he’s blind to the sheer amount of hostility between Holden and me. But I’m grateful for his obliviousness; he’d no doubt skin me alive if he knew I was the reason Holden showed up naked and thirty minutes late for their first date.
True to his word, Holden emerges from my room five minutes later. Wearing…his clothes. The clothes I had kept in his duffle, stashing the whole raid so far back in my closet, he had to dig and root around to find it.
Not a single thing is out of place except Holden’s gift sitting at the end of my bed. It’s the glove he used to cover his junk while he trotted across campus. But it’s only when I get closer and grab it off the comforter that I realize… It’s my glove.
I’ve never been much of a Braxton fan, but he’s Oak and Cam’s teammate, so I shut my mouth and deal. Except moments like this make it really fucking hard.
Something about this kiss feels different from the few we’ve shared. Yet somehow, it’s eerily familiar at the same time. Maybe because it’s finally missing all the awkwardness and quirky fumbling.
The reason I’m so fucking irate is because of how turned on he made me. How sexy, fun, and familiar his touch and kiss were. It’s disarming and more than a little maddening.
“You bellow—Jesus fuck!” Theo shouts as he slaps his hand over his eyes. “A little warning would be nice, Hold!” A warning? Seriously?
“Yeah…” he says slowly. “Do I even want to know what kind of sex game you were playing to end up like this?” “Not a sex game.” “Again, don’t believe you.” “Then you should probably get out so I can start making my plans of retaliation.” “Figured as much.” Theo sighs,
“Try not to be mad at me about this,” I’m fully prepared for my line of thinking to be correct. “Okay.” “I’m serious,” he insists. “You have to promise me you won’t revoke my friendship for this.” Oh, hell. “I’ll do my best to not be pissed,” I say slowly, keeping my temper in check. “Now, just spit it out, Kase.” Reluctance still consumes his features while he looks at me. “Okay, I um…” He clears his throat twice, and then, “I invited Holden.”
“I know you’re just trying to look out for him and be his friend. I get it. But seriously, Kase? Your bleeding heart will be your greatest downfall.” Just like mine is not being able to tell you no.
Hurt crosses Kason’s features immediately, but I’m too pissed to care. He’s the one who didn’t care about how bringing the fucker with us on vacation would make me feel. This thing with him and Holden is changing us and our friendship into something…I don’t even recognize anymore.
My desperation to get laid—and under Phoenix’s skin—must be at an all-time high.
At this rate, I think Phoenix might be getting under my skin more than the other way around.
“Just sick of Phoenix aiming evil eyes at the back of my head for hours on end. I swear he’s plotting murder back there. Simply looking for the right opportunity to act.” Theo snorts, amusement evident in his tone when he asks, “I take it things between the two of you didn’t end well, then?” The question catches me off guard, and my brows clash together. “End well?” “At the Kappa Sig party?” When I don’t acknowledge what he says, he lets out a laugh and shakes his head. “Man, you really need to start keeping a log of the people you sleep with if they’re starting to run together this badly.”
“There’s the lightbulb,” Theo jokes, oblivious to the plethora of epiphanies slamming into me like a fifty-car pile-up. Why Phoenix’s hatred for me seems to run so deep for no reason. Why his image of me was tainted from the moment we met. Why he wants me nowhere near Kason. Yet the most significant being…why my body felt familiarity in his touch when he left me chained to my bed. It was because my body subconsciously remembered it.
“But hey, if you need to escape the tension for a bit, you’re more than welcome to drive the Bronco.” “You don’t want me to.” He gives a shrug. “I swear, I don’t mind.” My eyes shift from him to the mustard-yellow contraption he calls a vehicle. “I meant what I said. The only place I’d be caught driving this thing is off a damn cliff.” He aims a smirk at me before yanking open the driver’s door. “From the sounds of it, you’re ready to anyway.”
“Why the fuck does everyone equate me with STDs?” “I dunno,” Phoenix says, tone laced with equal parts sarcasm and venom. “Maybe it’s because you’ve spent the last couple years defining yourself as a man-whore who will screw everything that walks on two legs.” I watch his face silently for a minute, waiting for even the slightest hint of anything. Any clue as to what happened between us. But all I pick up on is a big, fat nothing, so I let my focus shift back to the road. “It’s a label I’ve been given.” “It’s one you’ve earned.”
“It was a while ago.” “Still doesn’t mean it’s easy.” I nod, knowing that truth all too well. Even if it feels like the time that’s passed should have lessened some of the pain. Or I’d have learned to cope better, at the very least. But if I’ve learned anything, there’s no timeline for something like this.
Nash Kaelin has the voice of an angel and the scream of Satan himself.”
“Maybe it’s enough for you two to call a cease-fire for the rest of the trip?” “Highly unlikely,” I say at the same time Holden says, “Absolutely not,” and our gazes lock in the mirror again. At least we can agree on something.
“Well, then, I hope you’re not a light sleeper,” I say, trying to act unbothered by the two of them pairing off. “As you’ve witnessed, Kason snores like a freight train.” “That’s a mild exaggeration,” Kason says before shooting me a look over his shoulder.
Noah chimes in. “Besides, you were snoring like half an hour ago.” I smirk when Holden looks at me again. “Hope you brought earplugs.”
Me: Holy shit. How fast were you driving? Theo: It’s all Wyatt. I swear, he thinks the speed limit is just a suggestion.
Me: You’ll be there half an hour before us. Theo: Is that a problem? We can pull off at a gas station and wait for you guys to catch up. Or we can swing by the store and get food and alcohol before you get there. Me: No, it’s fine. I’ll text you the door code, and you guys can get settled in. Makes more sense for us to get the food and beer together anyway. Theo: *thumbs up emoji*
Me: Can you also do me a massive favor when you get there? Theo: What’s up? The same giddy, stomach-fluttering feeling returns as I type out my request. Me: When you claim your rooms, don’t let anyone take the one on the third floor. Theo: Sure. That your room? I thought you were taking the master? Me: I am. It’s Kason and Holden’s.
Theo: Why do I feel like you’re scheming? My lips quirk up in a grin. Me: Don’t worry about it. Just tell me you’ll do it. Theo: I can’t do that until I know the plan. Me: It’s need to know. Theo: I feel like all evil masterminds are supposed to share their plans with their sidekicks. I roll my lips inward to keep myself from laughing. Me: You’re not a sidekick, you’re an ally. Theo: Like there’s a difference? Me: One has plausible deniability. Which you’re definitely going to want. Theo: Fair point. But I’m still not happy about it. Me: Thank you. So do we have a deal or not?
What’s more, I can’t stand the way my body wants him. Craves him after that stunt I pulled in his bedroom. The feeling’s only gotten worse over the past few days, too.
“Maybe you were hoping for the guy you’re thinking about to join you.” I’m fully aware he thinks I was just jerking it to Kason, but knowing it was him—us—only makes his statement all the more horrifying.
“Your eyes did the talking your mouth wouldn’t.”
Even if it is just a lighthearted game between friends, we’re all still athletes. And athletes like to win. My thinking is on point, too, since as soon as the eight of us start getting into the game, it’s quickly becoming apparent that we’re all in it to win.
“How can you be this bad at a sport?” Theo asks after I miss my serve, the ball veering off wide to the right. “Throwing balls and hitting them are two very different things,” I say before taking my place by the net.
Thanks in no part to me; I’m ashamed to even call myself an athlete at this rate.