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Alexei loved that “we.” He absolutely fucking adored that “we.”
For such a sweet little thing, Jay kissed Alexei like he wanted to devour him whole, moaning when Alexei pulled him forward by the hips, the counter setting him at the perfect height to grind their cocks together.
Jay shoved him back gently then, as if he needed the distance to consider Alexei properly, cocking his head and looking him over. Alexei could only hope he passed the test. He really wanted to pass the fucking test.
Jay licked his lips—had he gotten all the crumbs?—noticing that when he did so, Alexei’s eyes gained that heated look he’d seen in them the other night. Because Alexei wanted Jay. Wasn’t that great? Alexei wanted to kiss him and touch him, and maybe if Jay was good, he would even work that big cock inside of him.
Jay wanted more lessons—really, really wanted more lessons—but he wasn’t quite sure how to get things started. He knew humans could, and often did, flirt with varying degrees of subtlety, but Jay’s brain didn’t really work that way. Double entendres and coded messages weren’t quite his things. So he went with saying exactly what he was thinking. “I want to try mouth stuff with you.”
And oh, Jay really liked the way Alexei looked at him when Jay was naked. Those pretty hazel eyes filled with heat, and his wide mouth parted slightly. He should just always be looking at Jay like that.
His human was so handsome. He had lovely definition in his muscles, looking strong but not massive, with a slight padding to his middle that made him seem extra snuggly. Jay thought he was the absolute perfect size.
He cleared his throat, forcing a smile onto his face. “I would love to go camping with you.” (It wasn’t a lie, okay? He wanted nothing more.) “Now please remove your underwear.”
“Fuuuck. Look at you, so gorgeous. You look so good like this, hm? But I think we can do even better.”
Maybe with enough practice, Jay would become a new kind of vampire, one who could feed on every part of Alexei. His blood, his sweat, his cum.
Jay giggled at that. “Go to sleep, Alexei. I’ll be right here.” In fact, Jay had trouble falling asleep at all. He wanted to treasure every second of this. He had this perfect, lovely human right in front of him; how was he supposed to close his eyes? Because looking at Alexei, his stern face relaxed with sleep, all that golden hair spread over the pillow, Jay really thought he must be the handsomest man in all of existence.
Jay placed his hands first on the counter, then on his register, then fiddled with the clasp on his overalls. “I’ve missed you, and it’s only been a day. Isn’t that funny?” Alexei’s heart clenched at Jay’s casual admission. Maybe that was why his own words came out easier than he would have expected. “I missed you too, kotyonok.”
“I like him a lot,” he admitted to Colin, more than a little helpless at the admission. Colin gave him a skeptical once-over. “Like having your dirty paws all over him, more like.” Alexei bit back the inappropriate urge to laugh. Who the fuck talked like that? “I like him, okay? He’s weird and funny and sweet, and he’s not a raging asshole like ninety percent of the human population.” Jay chose that moment to bounce back over, bags of coffee in his arms. “That’s so nice, Alexei. I don’t think you’re a raging asshole either.”
Did that mean Jay had a mate out there already? Was Alexei just…filler? Prepping Jay, giving him a taste of sex and romance, only for someone else to take him away permanently further down the line? Alexei hated the idea, so much so that his generally steel-lined stomach started churning well before they got to dessert. Why the fuck couldn’t he be Jay’s mate? He’d be the most devoted mate there ever was, given the chance.
So yes, Alexei would be fucking thrilled to be mated to Jay. But Jay would have told him, wouldn’t he, if that were the case? The little guy was an open book, a large-print picture book at that. He didn’t exactly seem the type to keep many secrets at all, let alone a massive one like a fated, vampiric bond with each other.
Alexei’s chest ached with a strange sort of pressure at the sight, as if it was too full of emotion for him to even begin to bear. He knew he wasn’t much to offer anyone, let alone an immortal being. Alexei was a runaway ghost, without a present or a future. He wasn’t particularly kind, or good, or fun, or funny. But in the face of Jay’s sweet delight, sprawling about in the snow, Alexei thought maybe he could offer something at least. He could be a companion. A witness. To help Jay enjoy the simple pleasures he’d been clearly denied for so long.
Jay loved the outdoors? Alexei would live in a forest cave with him, if he asked. Jay wanted to be around people? Alexei could handle that, if it was for Jay. He’d let Jay do all the talking, all the inadvertent charming, and it wouldn’t be so bad. Jay wanted a messy house? They’d make blanket forts, have a million pets, destroy their kitchen with culinary experiments. Alexei could be enough. He could try. He would try.
But even if they weren’t fated, Alexei could stay at Jay’s side until then, couldn’t he? Until Jay found the right person to tether him. It wasn’t like Alexei was going to deny him that, when it came down to it. Not if the alternative was insanity or death for his perfect, sweet vampire.
He looked to the side to see Jay peering up out of his Jay-sized hole in the snow, gray eyes once again lit up with happiness. It took so fucking little to make him smile.
he sighed, but it was a contented sound, full of relaxed pleasure. “I’m very happy when I’m with you, Alexei.”
“I didn’t have a real childhood. Your adulthood was stolen from you. Do you think together you and I could make one complete person?” Jay pressed his cheek into Alexei’s palm. “Except I’m not a person.” “You are.” Alexei frowned, confused at Jay’s self-assessment. “You mean because you have a”—what had Jay called it?—“a beastie inside you?” Jay nodded solemnly against Alexei’s hand. Alexei let out a slow breath. “You’re a person, Jay. A vampire person, maybe. But still a person.” When Jay still looked unconvinced, Alexei pressed on. “Would you tell your friends in there they aren’t real
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“I read a book once on love languages,” Jay mused, a thoughtful expression on his face. “There were five of them, which doesn’t seem like nearly enough. I think quality time might be mine.”
You’re hungry for affection; I’m hungry to give it to you.” Jay beamed down at him. “Have I told you lately you’re the nicest human?” “Only to you.” Because you’re special and perfect and I adore you even though we’ve only been technically dating for a day.
“My name is Wolfgang. Or Wolfe, should you prefer the simplicity.” He met Alexei’s eyes. “I’m Johann’s fiancé.”
He should have come clean to his friends earlier. Much, much earlier. But that would have made it real, wouldn’t it? For them to know. And Jay had wanted to…pretend. Pretend he would be allowed to stay. Pretend he actually belonged. How silly. How stupid. How childish of him.
Jay was a billionaire? A billionaire with a goddamn vampire fiancé? A fiancé. A fucking fiancé.
Alexei hated every new little bit he learned about Jay’s life with Vee. He’d been turned so young only to have so much of life’s pleasures denied him, so many experiences kept out of his reach. He’d been purposefully stunted before he could reach his prime.
I wanted to say I’m sorry that you were turned against your will, that you’ve had to deal with all this mess. But I’d be lying, wouldn’t I? I’m glad you’ve lived long enough for us to meet.”
He wished he could have been the one to save Jay, to keep him safe, keep him nourished. He would have offered up every bit of his own blood, down to the last fucking drop, to keep Jay whole.
“I want you to stay.” Alexei hardly recognized his own voice, the rough gravel that came out of him in saying the words. But there it was. The selfish truth of it. He didn’t care about the money, about Jay’s prior agreement with Wolfe. He didn’t care about the den of cretins Jay had left behind. All Alexei cared about was Jay with him. He wanted Jay by his side, happy and hale. He just…wanted him.
“Please,” Alexei begged. “Please stay.” “It’s like I told Wolfe: I want to stay.” And because Jay was good and kind and perfect, he added what Alexei had been afraid to. “I want to stay with you.” Alexei’s sigh of relief was cut off halfway through because then Jay’s mouth was on his, the vampire wrapped back around him in the way he should always be. Because Jay should just always be there, in Alexei’s arms. There was no other reality that made sense.
Alexei knew Jay was strong, stronger than he thought he was. Alexei hadn’t missed the part, back in that living room, where Jay had offered to fight for him. To die for him. No one in Alexei’s life—not a one, not ever—had offered to fight for Alexei.
And when Alexei bottomed out, Jay’s fangs descended, his eyes darkening to that deep black. He was gorgeous, perfect, everything Alexei had ever wanted. Alexei told him so.
Alexei begged once more. “Say you’ll stay with me. Say you won’t leave me alone.” He knew it wasn’t fair to ask for promises midcoitus, but he was desperate. Unbelievably desperate. Jay smiled wide as Alexei’s hips began to move almost against his will, those fangs gleaming even in the dim bedroom lighting. “We’ll stay. We won’t leave.” Alexei froze, the movement of his hips pausing. “Are you… Is this Jay’s beastie?”
“So fucking perfect for me. Taking my cock so well, kitten. You were made for this, baby.”
Alexei smiled down at him, so wide and pleased that Jay wasn’t even anxious over him minding Jay’s greediness. Because Alexei never seemed to mind how much Jay wanted, all the affection he craved every second of every day.
Sometimes Jay felt like he was a bottomless pit of want and need. And he was only just recently realizing how deep it went. He wanted to be held, possibly all the time. He wanted to experience everything he’d ever missed. He wanted to taste every kind of human food. He wanted to meet every kind of person. He wanted to pet every animal in the whole wide world. He wanted Alexei with him always.
And Alexei made him feel safe wit...
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Jay bit at his lip, considering. “I liked the other day, when we were both pleasing each other with our mouths? But I liked this too. I liked…relaxing and letting you take care of me, like you said. Is that bad?” Jay kind of felt somehow like it should be bad. Like it was selfish of him to like being under Alexei’s care so much, to take all that pleasure without giving back. But Alexei was still smiling at him, stroking Jay’s face. “We’ve got a budding pillow princess on our hands, huh?”
For a creature with such potentially vicious cravings, it definitely liked having Alexei caring for them so gently. Really, it just liked anything involving Alexei at all.
“But she was also my companion. My…friend. I’m not—I’m not brave or strong or tough. I missed her when she died. Sometimes I still miss her. I miss having someone just for me.”
“It’s hard to hate the people who raised you. My father was a bastard of the highest order. But if he suddenly rose from the dead and just—I don’t fucking know—told me he loved me? Offered me a fucking hug? I’d probably end up taking it, wouldn’t I?”
But I guess I miss belonging to someone. I know that’s bad to say. It’s just—I get lonely.” Alexei set the photo down, then covered Jay’s hands on his chest with his. “You have me now, if you want.”
Alexei’s voice cut through the silence, surprisingly soft. “I get lonely too.” “You do?” Jay asked. “Not as much, now that I met you.” And wasn’t that the nicest thing to say? “I can be that person for you, Jay. Someone just for you. Let me be that person.”
“I won’t let him take me away from you,” Jay vowed. And he was doing it again. Making promises he didn’t know how to keep.
“Oh. Yes, I know he’s my mate.” Jay couldn’t help but frown a little at his friend, as much as he loved him. “I’m not stupid, you know.”
“It’s just— Well, okay. Christ. Aren’t you going to do anything about it?” Jay frowned in confusion. “Like what?” “Like turn him.” “Oh no.” Jay shook his head fervently. “I wouldn’t do that.” Soren threw up his hands. Jay had to admire how expressive he always was. “Why the fuck not?”
“Well, I can see how it would help me, yes. But what about Alexei? Have you ever considered that we need our mates but they don’t need us?” Jay held up a finger when it seemed like Soren was going to interrupt him. “Not if they’re still human when we find them, that is. Alexei is completely, gloriously human. He doesn’t need a tether. He doesn’t need me. It would be selfish of me to take his humanity away to serve my own purpose.”
“You’re wrong, you know. And maybe even a few years ago, I might have agreed. But Gabe does need me. He did need me, even as a human. People need love, Jay. Most do, anyway. They need connection. They need to be seen and understood and accepted. I gave that to Gabe. I’ll keep giving that to Gabe.”
Jay might not have had much experience with love, but he had plenty of experience with its absence. He could tell the difference.
