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Kindle Notes & Highlights
I’ve heard “I’m sorry for your loss” so many times that the sentiment has lost all meaning. Kind of like when you say a word over and over and it no longer sounds like the word anymore.
What am I supposed to do with an obscenely large crucifix made of white lilies and a blow mold of Jesus hanging in the center? It’s so melancholy—and pretty damn ugly, if I say so myself.
I’ve always hated the way the hallways smell here, like Hamburger Helper and other people.
It’s strange sensing someone in a place, knowing they will never return to it.
I am well aware I eat like shit, but I cook like shit too, so there’s little motivation there.
“Madaroni and cheese!”
I want someone who will bang me like a screen door in a hurricane. Loud, hard, and often. Nothing too crazy, just passionate. I want to feel wanted by someone.
Think his dick is as big as that cocktail shaker?”
Rhinoceroses are less horny.
Me: You think you can handle the 50 Shades of PB&J? Gray: PenisBalls&Jizz?
Baby steps are still steps.
My sex voice is activated
Pussy is everywhere, chemistry isn’t.
These days, my joints practically pop and click just from ripping ass.
The childhood trauma she’s left me with is a big enough souvenir.
“You only feel scared because you’re doing something really brave. It’s going to be okay.
It’s the first time a woman’s touch feels like giving instead of taking.
“Food waste is a serious problem. There are sober Russians in Russia who would love that vodka!” Pretty sure it was tequila.
Don’t tease me if you can’t please me.”
I can’t wait to teach her my bark will always be followed by a bite.
She’s constantly setting impossible expectations of herself.
So much time was wasted trying to convert measurements from metric to the imperial system. Why do they think Canada abandoned it in the ’70s? The rest of the world gets it. Waiting on you, America! The weights and measurements here are arbitrary and make zero sense.
there’s also a pack of AA batteries leaning up against the side with another note that says, For your toolbox.
Vagina, it’s a trap. Stay vigilant.
It’s like a bad romance novel.
“You can yell at me all night long, but you’re going to look me in the eye when you do it.
Don’t waste your time on vanilla. You deserve the mint chocolate chip.”
Looks like I’m going to fuck the ice cream man.
beating my dick like it stole from me.
That’s not fuckboy energy. That’s big-dick-husband-daddy energy.
Operation Feed the Kitty is well underway. All systems are go.
“Are you just my friend when you’re riding my cock like it’s made for you?”
I’m glad they were there, but I wish they didn’t have to be.
you and me, we are goddamn inevitable. You just haven’t realized it yet!”
my neighbors, who apparently eat orgasms for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The walls here are a bit thin.
“Playing hard to get is for bitches, Bird. You want something? Go get it, then!”
