The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

by Harriet Lerner

There are two essential voice challenges in a committed, intimate relationship such as a marriage. First, we need to clarify a bottom-line position and stand behind it. Second, we need to speak to the positive in the other person and the relationship and to warm things up.