If the overriding sentiment in your conversations with a partner is less than positive, here’s your homework: For two weeks, increase your ratio of positive to negative statements to five to one. Be sure to initiate and respond to repair attempts. Experiment with communicating interest, generosity, and love in nonverbal ways, as well as with words and language. Do the small, specific things that warm your partner’s heart. Even small steps in this direction will allow you to know yourself and your partner better, a worthwhile venture whether your partner eventually responds in kind or not.
