The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

by Harriet Lerner

But kindness, timing, and tact are not the opposite of honesty: Rather they are precisely what make honesty possible with the most difficult people and in the most difficult circumstances. There is no virtue in speaking to others in a way that makes it impossible for them to hear what you have to say or to appreciate the truth of your position.