The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

by Harriet Lerner

If a person’s words tell me one thing (“I’m feeling close to you”) but my automatic knowing intuits something different (I sense distance, disconnection, a “not-thereness”), I put more trust in what I feel than in the words I hear.