The 33 Strategies of War

by Robert Greene

A prince need trouble little about conspiracies when the people are well disposed, but when they are hostile and hold him in hatred, then he must fear everything and everybody. NICCOLÒ MACHIAVELLI, 1469–1527

Finally, morale plays a crucial part in any war, and it is always wise to work to undermine the morale of the enemy troops. The Chinese call this “removing the firewood from under the cauldron.”

It is impossible to win a contest with a helpless opponent since if you win you have won nothing. Each blow you strike is unreturned so that all you can feel is guilt for having struck while at the same time experiencing the uneasy suspicion that the helplessness is calculated. STRATEGIES OF PSYCHOTHERAPY, JAY HALEY, 1963

He subsequently harnessed the river waters not by fighting against them with a dam, but by yielding to them and clearing for them a wider channel within which to run.

It is not an enemy who taunts me—then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend……. My companion stretched out his hand against his friends, he violated his covenant. His speech was smoother than butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords. PSALMS, 55:12–15, 20–21

The idiom represents an archetype in world literature: a person with a smiling face and a cruel heart, dubbed a “smiling tiger” in Chinese folklore. THE WILES OF WAR, TRANSLATED BY SUN HAICHEN, 1991

If it happens to be a partner in a relationship in which you cannot disengage, the only solution is to find a way to make the person feel comfortable in expressing any negative feelings toward you and encouraging it. This may be hard to take initially, but it may defuse his or her need to be underhanded; and open criticisms are easier to deal with than covert sabotage.

In any event, you must never leave the passive-aggressive time and space in which to operate. Let them take root and they will find all kinds of sly ways to pull you here and there. Your best defense is to be sensitive to any passive-aggressive manifestations in those around you and to keep your mind as free as possible from their insidious influence.

Authority: As dripping water wears through rock, so the weak and yielding can subdue the firm and strong. —Sun Haichen, Wiles of War (1991)