It made me sick to my stomach with guilt to think about Jules. I missed him, but I was too afraid to go and see him. I couldn’t handle the idea of him being angry with me. I couldn’t even imagine how mad he could get at me for something like this. Each day made me feel a little worse because it was another day that I had gone without seeing him. It seemed more and more impossible to ever go home. I wished that he hadn’t laughed the last time I’d seen him. I would think about him laughing, and it would make me want to die. That day, I hadn’t thought about him for a straight eight or nine hours.
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