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The shortest to just five, but five of such subtle phraseology, labyrinthine grammar, and malicious ambiguity that, released into the mortal world, they would certainly have formed the basis of a new religion or, at the least, a management course.
When he finally deduced that he had been unceremoniously translocated, he marked the revelation with a filthy curse in a language that had been dead eight thousand years, so managing to be amazingly erudite and amazingly uncouth in the selfsame instant.
“With all the best will in the world, Johannes, you’re as much fun as a leper at an orgy.”
Cabal dimly recalled that the musical genius who’d decided to put on Necronomicon: The Musical had got everything he deserved: money, fame, and torn to pieces by an invisible monster.
“Well, if I ever suffer brain damage, I know there’s always a career waiting for me in local politics.”
Never discuss murder plans with the victim, he reminded himself. It takes all the spontaneity out of it.
“Yes, apart from that. I have a sixth sense that tells me when I’m being made a fool of.” “Oh, I’ve heard of that. ‘Clinical paranoia,’ I think it’s called.”
It is received wisdom that you can’t put a square peg in a round socket. As is common with received wisdom, this isn’t entirely true. It is quite possible to put a square peg in a round socket if you are very stupid, are very wilful, or just don’t like the square peg very much.
