The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

by Mother Teresa

Once you know you have hurt someone be the first to say sorry. We cannot forgive unless we know that we need forgiveness, and forgiveness is the beginning of love.

Prayer: Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted; to understand rather than be understood; to love rather than be loved, for it is by forgetting self that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life. Amen.

Knowledge always leads to love and love to service.

We know that if we really want to love, we must learn to forgive. Forgive and ask to be forgiven; excuse rather than accuse. Reconciliation begins first, not with others but with ourselves. It starts with having a clean heart within. A clean heart is able to see God in others. We must radiate God’s love.

Nakedness is not only for a piece of cloth, nakedness is the loss of human dignity, the loss of that beautiful virtue of purity which is so misused nowadays.

This is the meaning of true love, to give until it hurts.

Is my heart so clean that I can see the face of God in my brother, my sister who is that black one, that white one, that naked one, that one suffering from leprosy, that dying one? And this is what we must pray for. Because God lives in us and makes us godly, we are one another’s brothers and sisters — one big family of God’s children.

In Calcutta, we cope with 9,000 people every day and the day we don’t cook, they don’t eat. One day, a Sister came and told me : ‘Mother, there is no more rice for Friday and Saturday; we will have to tell the people that we don’t have it.’ On Friday morning at about 9 o’clock, a truck full of bread arrived. The Government had closed the schools for some reason. All the bread was brought to us and for two days our people ate bread, and bread and bread! I knew why God had closed the schools. Those thousands of people had to know that God loved them, that He cared for them.

For knowledge of God gives love, and knowledge of self gives humility.

18 APRIL In the Scriptures, it is written, ‘I looked for one to comfort me and I found none.’ Jesus is your child, your spouse, your neighbour, looking for someone to comfort Him. Are you there? Let us make a resolution : I will be there for my child, my spouse, my neighbour — not just in words, but by my sharing and sacrificing. Maybe just a beautiful smile instead of that ugly look, maybe a beautiful word instead of that angry word. Let us take the trouble to be that one to comfort him.

Every human being comes from God. We all know what is the love of God for us. Whatever we believe, we know that if we really want to love, we must learn to forgive. We must radiate God’s love.

What a shame if one of our brothers or sisters dies of hunger because of our neglect and selfishness. We will never feel what the poor feel, because we do not have to worry about our next meal, about our clothes, our comforts, we have them all in abundance. Love means to share with others.

The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us. All our words will be useless unless they come from within. Why not try and hold your tongue? You know what you can do but you do not know how much the other can bear.

We need to find God and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature — trees and flowers and grass — grow in silence. See the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life.

It is easy to be proud and harsh and selfish — so easy. But we have been created for better things. Each of us has plenty of good as well as plenty of bad in us. Let none glory in his or her success but refer all to God.

: ‘Blessed are the clean of heart for they shall see God.’ If we do not see God in each other, it is very difficult to love. And as love begins at home, we must have that love for each other at home.

Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be a living expression of God’s kindness : kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. To children, to the poor, to all who suffer and are lonely, give always a happy smile. Give them not only your care, but also your heart.

Every religion believes in eternity — another life. This life on earth is not the end. People who believe it is the end, fear death. If it was properly explained that death was nothing but going home to God, then there would be no fear of death.

Riches and money do not make us rich — what makes us rich is our attachment to them. God gives us things to share, God doesn’t give us things to hold, and so the more we learn to share the more we come to know each other, we will love one another, and if we love one another we will be able to share the joy of what we have.

give and give until it hurts. This kind of giving is love in action.

Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted and ardent. If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are. If you are blamed you will not be discouraged. If they call you a saint you will not put yourself on a pedestal.

How do we love? Not in big things but in small things with great love. There is so much love in us all. We must not be afraid to show our love.

Whether one is a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian, how you live your life is proof that you are or not fully His. We cannot condemn or judge or pass words that will hurt people. We don’t know in what way God is appearing to that soul and what God is drawing that soul to; therefore, who are we to condemn anybody?

and in a burst of love, took the gum

We need to find God and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is a friend of silence. The more we engage in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. The essential thing is not what we say but what God says to us and what He says through us.

Sometime ago, two young people came to our house and they gave me a large sum of money to feed the poor. I asked them : Where did you get so much money?’ And they said : ‘Two days ago we got married and we decided that we were not going to buy wedding clothes, we were not going to have a wedding feast, we would give you the money to feed the poor.’ And I asked them again : But why did you do that? They said : ‘We love each other so much that we wanted to begin our life together by sharing the joy of loving with the people you serve by making a sacrifice.’ This love is sanctity and the more we grow in this love, the closer we come to God. 7 DECEMBER Maybe in our own family we have somebody who is feeling lonely, who is feeling sick, who is feeling worried. Are we there? Let us know the poor in our own families first. We have old people : they are put in institutions and they are never visited; with less and less time even to smile at each other, with less and less time to be together. Love begins at home, if we can only make our own homes temples of love.

A Hindu woman married to a Parsi, came to ask for my blessings for her three-year-old son who could not speak. I asked the woman : Is there anything to which you are very attached, something dear to you? The child’s mother replied : ‘Yes, chewing betel. With me it has become a compulsory habit.’ Give it up. Offer it to God as a sacrifice and pray for your son’s cure, I said. She did and three months later her son started to speak and slowly became normal.

So faith unless it has works is dead in itself.

I don’t know what God is doing. He knows. We do not understand, but one thing I’m sure, He doesn’t make a mistake.