The Gargoyle

by Andrew Davidson

“Love is as strong as death, as hard as Hell.” Death separates the soul from the body, but love separates all things from the soul.

Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, often violently, just like love.

It’s a strange but consistent trait of people who consider themselves unattractive. They look embarrassed if you suggest that they might be interested in someone; because they feel unworthy of receiving attention, they also deny that they would dare to give it.

Seuse explained that Eckhart’s position was that anything that is good can become better, and whatever may become better may become best. God cannot be referred to as “good,” “better,” or “best” because He is above all things. If a man says that God is wise, the man is lying because anything that is wise can become wiser. Anything that a man might say about God is incorrect, even calling Him by the name of God. God is “super-essential nothingness” and “transcendent Being,” said Seuse, beyond all words and beyond all understanding. The best a man can do is to remain silent, because any time he prates on about God, he is committing the sin of lying. The true master knows that if he had a God he could understand, he would never hold Him to be God.

“That which is painful sharpens one’s love.”

I can state with some confidence that I hate fewer people than I used to. This may seem like a weak claim to personal growth, but sometimes these things should be judged by distance traveled rather than by current position.

Love is a delicate thing that needs to be cosseted and protected. Love is not robust and love is not unyielding. Love can crumble under a few harsh words, or be tossed away with a handful of careless actions.

“You are mine, I am yours: you may be sure of this. You’ve been locked inside my heart, the key has been thrown away; within it, you must always stay.

I was learning it was possible to love more than just God. In fact, I was learning that it was better to love more than just God.

“I do not believe,” whispered Father Sunder, “in any God that considers love to be a sin.”

One cannot become whole by ignoring one’s misfortunes.”

Says the problem with most Christians is that they show up at church once a week to pray that God’s will be done—and when it is, they complain.”

“The water of separation shall purify.”

I was in the water of the entire world, the entire universe, but I wasn’t even “in” the water so much as I was a part of it. I was indistinguishable from the water itself; I had become fluid.

It was in me and it was through me; I was the water and I was the light. I felt as though I were floating liquid radiance, a steady glow without warmth or cold. I no longer had any sense of my body.

Words were not used; it was more like I could feel his thoughts brushing up against mine. It was the same with Meister Eckhart and Sister Mechthild when they communicated. Our “conversation” was a kaleidoscope of brilliant vibrations.

You learned to give your heart over completely to the one, but you have not yet learned to share the heart beyond the self and the other.

It happened before I even knew it and now I can’t imagine not loving you.

I believe in your love for me. I believe in my love for you. I believe that every remaining beat of my heart belongs to you, and I believe that when I finally leave this world, my last breath will carry your name.

I believe that my final word—Marianne—will be all I need to know that my life was good and full and worthy, and I believe...

Knowing the medical term microstomia does not make my lips less ugly. Still, I prefer this mouth to the one I had before I told Marianne Engel that I loved her.