envied others two years ago. to know that for those qualities I covet in others, those same others covet qualities in still others. to know a lot of people I love pieces of, and to want to synthesize those pieces in me somehow, be it by painting or writing. to know that millions of others are unhappy and that life is a gentleman’s agreement to grin and paint your face gay so others will feel they are silly to be unhappy, and try to catch the contagion of joy, while inside so many are dying of bitterness and unfulfillment to take a walk with Marcia Brown30 and love her for her exuberance, to
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