Words That Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear

by Frank Luntz

if you want to talk your way into a table, you need to tell the hostess an emotional hard-luck story. It should be personal, and it should involve a relationship that tugs at the heartstrings and makes you the bad guy or girl. It also needs humor. A funny story that explains, at your expense, why the table is so important can work wonders. If you can make the hostess laugh, she will certainly find a way to get you a table. Or at least she’ll try. As in the case of getting on an airplane—and unlike when you’ve been pulled over by a cop—your aim should be to create empathy, to make the person in power put him- or herself in your shoes. If the hostess can see the situation from your perspective, she may consider the potential for karmic reciprocity—helping you out today means someone some day in a similar situation will do the same thing for her. The important first step is to get the hostess talking. It’s like flirting; as long as she continues to reply to your jokes and your story, she hasn’t completely closed the door on you. Make her laugh, or feel genuinely sorry about the hazard to your love life, and chances are she’ll say, “I’ll see what I can do” and come back with a table.