More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Tony Robbins
Started reading
August 12, 2023
If-then beliefs like, “If I consistently give my all, then I will succeed,” or “If I’m totally passionate with this person, then they’ll leave me.”
Global beliefs, like beliefs about people—“People are basically good” or “People are a pain”—beliefs about yourself, beliefs about opportunity, beliefs about...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
“This is a belief that needs to be strengthened and turned into a conviction.”
Knock those legs of certainty out from under your disempowering beliefs by asking yourself some of the following questions: 1. How is this belief ridiculous or absurd? 2. Was the person I learned this belief from worth modeling in this area? 3. What will it ultimately cost me emotionally if I don’t let go of this belief? 4. What will it ultimately cost me in my relationships if I don’t let go of this belief? 5. What will it ultimately cost me physically if I don’t let go of this belief? 6. What will it ultimately cost me financially if I don’t let go of this belief? 7. What will it cost my
...more
Remember, nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it. So make sure that you consciously choose the meanings that are most in alignment with the destiny you’ve chosen for yourself.
SOCIETY MAY PREDICT, BUT ONLY I WILL DETERMINE MY DESTINY!”
But I passionately argued that all changes are created in a moment. It’s just that most of us wait until certain things happen before we finally decide to make a shift.
Why is it that most people think change takes so long? One reason, obviously, is that most people have tried again and again through willpower to make changes, and failed.
Once we effect a change, we should reinforce it immediately. Then, we have to condition our nervous systems to succeed not just once, but consistently.
Science of Neuro-Associative Conditioning™, or NAC. What is it? NAC is a step-by-step process that can condition your nervous system to associate pleasure to those things you want to continuously move toward and pain to those things you need to avoid in order to succeed consistently in your life without constant effort or willpower. Remember, it’s the feelings that we’ve been conditioned to associate in our nervous systems—our neuro-associations—that determine our emotions and our behavior.
The first belief we must have if we’re going to create change quickly is that we can change now.
The second belief that you and I must have if we’re going to create long-term change is that we’re responsible for our own change, not anyone else.
1) First, we must believe, “Something must change”
2) Second, we must not only believe that things must change, but we must believe, “I must change it.”
3) Third, we have to believe, “I can change it.”
you have to be the source of your change.
nothing changes until we change the sensations we link to an experience in our nervous system,
Each time we experience a significant amount of pain or pleasure, our brains search for the cause and record it in our nervous systems to enable us to make better decisions about what to do in the future.
“To the dull mind all nature is leaden. To the illumined mind the whole world burns and sparkles with light.” —RALPH WALDO EMERSON
each time we repeat the behavior, the connection strengthens. We add another strand to our neural connection.
Remember: courage, unused, diminishes. Commitment, unexercised, wanes. Love, unshared, dissipates.
1. Your brain looks for something that appears to be unique.
2. Your brain looks for something that seems to be happening simultaneously
3. Your brain looks for consistency
So often we blame the wrong cause, and thereby close ourselves off from possible solutions.
When you’re deciding what to do, if your brain doesn’t have a clear signal of what equals pain and what equals pleasure, it goes into overload and becomes confused. As a result, you lose momentum and the power to take the decisive actions that could give you what you want. When you give your brain mixed messages, you’re going to get mixed results.
beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act.”
NAC MASTER STEP 2 Get Leverage: Associate Massive Pain to Not Changing Now and Massive Pleasure to the Experience of Changing Now!
One of the things that turns virtually anyone around is reaching a pain threshold. This means experiencing pain at such an intense level that you know you must change now—a point at which your brain says, “I’ve had it; I can’t spend another day, not another moment, living or feeling this way.”
If you’ve tried many times to make a change and you’ve failed to do so, this simply means that the level of pain for failing to change is not intense enough. You have not reached threshold, the ultimate leverage.
To paraphrase the philosopher Nietzsche, he who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.
I’ve found that 20 percent of any change is knowing how; but 80 percent is knowing why. If we gather a set of strong enough reasons to change, we can change in a minute something we’ve failed to change for years.
The greatest leverage you can create for yourself is the pain that comes from inside, not outside. Knowing that you have failed to live up to your own standards for your life is the ultimate pain.
One of the strongest forces in the human personality is the drive to preserve the integrity of our own identity.
So why would someone not change when they feel and know that they should? They associate more pain to making the change than to not changing.
To get true leverage, ask yourself pain-inducing questions: “What will this cost me if I don’t change?”
What is it already costing me mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually?” Make the pain of not changing feel so real to you, so intense, so immediate that you can’t put off taking that action any longer.
The second step is to use pleasure-associating questions to help you link those positive sensations to the idea of changing. “If I do change, how will that make me feel about myself? What kind of momentum could I create if I change this in my
The key is to get lots of reasons, or better yet, strong enough reasons, why the change should take place immediately, not someday in the future. If you are not driven to make the change now, then you don’t really have leverage.
To get new results in our lives, we can’t just know what we want and get leverage on ourselves. We can be highly motivated to change, but if we keep doing the same things, running the same inappropriate patterns, our lives are not going to change, and all we’ll experience is more and more pain and frustration.
One of the best ways to interrupt someone’s pattern is to do things they don’t expect, things that are radically different from what they’ve experienced before. Think of some of the ways you can interrupt your own patterns. Take a moment to think up some of the most enjoyable and disruptive ways you can interrupt a pattern of being frustrated, worried, or overwhelmed.
One of the key distinctions to interrupting a pattern is that you must do it in the moment the pattern is recurring. Pattern interrupts happen to us every day. When you say, “I just lost my train of thought,” you’re indicating that something or someone interrupted your pattern of concentration.
often it’s true that interrupting a pattern enough times can change almost anyone.
