Eric (Discworld, #9; Rincewind, #4)

by Terry Pratchett

any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was also bright enough to realize that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with the demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.

The creator leaned forward. “I’ve never been good at doing people. Never seem to get the arms and legs right.” He vanished.

“Multiple exclamation marks,” he went on, shaking his head, “are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”

When no amount of worshipping caused the Luggage to come back and trample their enemies they poisoned all their priests and tried enlightened atheism instead, which still meant they could kill as many people as they liked but didn’t have to get up so early to do it.