My mind waterboards me with memories of her. Our first kiss on holidays, how she smelt like coconuts. Her coming down those stairs at Holland Park for our first date. Slow dancing to Billie Holiday. Her blushing cheeks and her wide eyes on mine the first time I got changed in front of her. The way she looks at me when I’m driving her places. The first time I snuck her up into my room at school, Jonah went for a walk to give us some space — tripped, dislocated his knee — went missing for hours. Barely cared though, because I touched her boobs for the first time. Took her top off for the first
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