Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

by Martha N. Beck

So? What are you? You may have identified yourself by a job description: “I am a tinker, tailor, soldier, spy, corporate strategist, Thighmaster salesman.” Or maybe your identity is based on relationships: “I am a devoted lover, caring parent, loyal friend, and a trusted confidante of the pope.” You may identify yourself by membership in some group or cause: “I am a homosexual, a Republican, a Jew, a Poultry Rights crusader”; or an avocation: “I am a deep thinker, a ski bum, an alcoholic, a fitness fanatic.” I want you to notice that you could be everything I just listed, all at once. You’d be really weird and mighty damn busy, but yes, it’s theoretically possible to be all those things, and many more as well, simultaneously. Each of us has infinite roles and identities. But we typically think of just a few, maybe only one, when we say, “This is what I am.” This “primary identity” shapes our place in the world, dictates many of our actions,